Tag Archives: hardcore

Lego Death Match

by Daniel Johnson

Flip D. Berger vs. Stinky the Homeless Guy

Long time visitors of The Johnson Transcript (or Transcriptonians as I like to call you) will recall that Lego is more deadly than thumbtacks. At least in the world of ISW. This match presents Flip D. Berger taking on one of the toughest hombres that outside has to offer in Stinky the Homeless Guy.

Stinky is at a disadvantage from the start as Flip’s two former adversary’s Moohammad and Moostafa have his back in this one. The cows get knocked out as fast as the Mean Street Posse in a hardcore match though when Stinky suplexes one with the other on his back.

As for the the involvement of Lego in this bout there are some decent comedy spots as well as spots that the performers would probably find funny if they weren’t in so much pain. Highlights include Flip breaking a Lego cheeseburger over Stinky’s head, Stinky putting on a D’Lo Brown-esque piece of armor and the commentators overselling Flip taping a hat filled with Lego to Stinky’s head. All this leads up to Flip taking two powerbombs on a huge pile of Lego and the people of outside celebrating Stinky as their champion.

Parents remember the next time you think Lego is some kind of toy for kids, think again.

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A Potentially Moo Ending Match

by Daniel Johnson

Moohammad vs. Flip D. Berger

This is a feud ending match and a potentially moo ending match because it comes with the stipulation that the winner gets to cook the loser. Yes, the drugs at ISW were good in 2008. The holy cow starts this match off by charging Berger only for the action to soon spill outside and for Berger to attempt an assault with a plunger. Hmm maybe it is the same one used by future WWE Hall of Famer T.L. Hopper.

Berger fails in his attack and instead gets a DDT on a chair followed by the plunger getting shoved in his face. The two are just ripping into each other for a while until Flip suplexes Moohammad on the stage near ringside and throws his opponent back in. Flip keeps the momentum going by letting loose with two super thin cake pans. Where’s Crash Holly when you need him? The cow then grabs Flip south of the border with some salad tongs and follows it up with an attitude adjustment on a tiny wastepaper basket. Moohammad further evokes John Cena by shouting, “you can’t milk me” and laying in another blow.

Finally, some Lego pieces are brought out and Moohammad stomps Flip face first into them. Berger eventually makes a comeback by slamming a Lego contraption into Moohammad and goes onto almost get the victory a short time later. What stops him? Well, check out the clip!

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A Caribbean Barbed Wire Rope Match

by Daniel Johnson

Viking vs. Sexxxy Eddy

Before I get into the bulk of this post I wanted to mention that this is the most I’ve ever been entertained by an ISW match. I can be a bit of a gore hound so this may not be for everyone, but if you like hardcore wrestling then you should love this.

This Caribbean barbed wire match takes place in the far north of the Caribbean (you know, the part of the Caribbean that’s in Canada) and showcases reigning ISW Champion, Viking (not The Viking) as he defends his belt against ISW mainstay Sexxxy Eddy. Although a barbed wire match, these two are not content with that being the only extreme part of the action. The barbed wire hasn’t even been touched when Viking introduces some thumbtacks. The amount of thumbtacks looks scarce, but it is still a handful of thumbtacks more than I’d like to have in my back. Eddy rips off Viking’s shirt and super kicks him into the tacks. To make matter worse for Viking he is then spun around on his back. The fight spills outside and Eddy takes a fork to Viking’s mouth then to his forehead. I guess Viking must have obeyed his mother in his youth when she told him he could only eat barbed wire after he ate his fork because sure enough Eddy starts shoving barbs in Viking’s mouth.

Viking manages a brief comeback and drags Eddy’s face through the tacks. Back on the outside light tubes make their debut in the match when Viking gets Irish whipped into them. This gets a “holy *expletive*” chant and Eddy takes a breather by only attacking Viking with a diet soda can. There’s no telling what a regular soda would have done to Viking. Viking gains control once again when the fight goes back inside the ring for a few seconds and Viking kicks a light tube into Eddy’s back. From there the brawl not only spills outside, but up the balcony. The two attempt to throw each other off as a “please don’t die” chant erupts.

Somehow the two make it back to the ring with neither committing a justifiable homicide. That looks like it could change when Eddy takes out a butt load of light tubes from under the ring. From here on out the blood is flowing freely. Even more so when Eddy stomps Viking’s head into a bundle of light tubes. Eddy decides to go for a pin after this, but only gets two. Eddy next decides to take out the truly vial weapons. Compact discs by the Backstreets Boys, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are smashed over Viking’s head. After headbutting a light tube into Eddy’s face, Viking makes the match even more gay friendly by ripping off Eddy’s wrestling gear.

The nude Eddy is almost counted out, but makes it to the ring after going to the back for new gear. Shenanigans take place when Eddy is held back by one wrestler from getting back to the ring. When Eddy makes it to the ring he gets his foot held by another wrestler while on on the second rope. Viking closes the match by busting a bundle of light tubes over Eddy’s head and hitting a backwards suplex.

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A Japanese Bathroom Brawl

by Daniel Johnson

Togi Makabe, Yuji Nagata and Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Minoru Suzuki, TAKA Michinoku and Taichi Ishikari

This fight from May is supposed to be a three-on-three match, but it opens with some wild brawling and the cameras focus exclusively on Togi Makabe and Minoru Suzuki while they fight all over the arena. If you’re expecting Ric Flair/Ricky Steamboat type action then you’re out of luck. The closest thing to technical wrestling at this point is probably when Makabe and Suzuki try to shove each other’s face in a urinal. As bad as Makabe is, Suzuki consistently has the upper hand in this fight.

Suzuki ends this initial brawl with an exclamation by giving him one of the stiffest headbutts ever. I haven’t seen a headbutt that vicious since…well you know. Suzuki isn’t satisfied with just cracking heads with Makabe and goes after a fan. Sure, the fan is probably a plant, but with Suzuki you can never be too sure.

Heading back to the ring he lands a series of smacks on Nagata and completely puts his past emasculation of the technical wizard to shame.

Makabe manages to stumble back to the ring and brawls some more. He wraps his chain around his arm and obliterates TAKA with a lariat followed by a knee off the top rope because you know there was no way Suzuki was taking the fall.

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6 Great Matches You’ve Never Seen: Part III

by Jeremy Cundiff

3. Blonde Bombers vs. Jerry Lawler & Bill Dundee from Memphis Wrestling (1979)

Thank you for your bandwidth. Last week, we looked at some puroresu cruiserweight action on a WWF show. Interesting enough. Well, today we’re going all the way back to 1979. The ’70s were such a wonderful time, filled with quaaludes and sideburns. Everyone’s shorts rode up their crotch and nobody cared. An afro almost guaranteed you would get laid, and the groundwork was being laid in professional wrestling for a radical change—although, like many sports promotions and leagues, it would be years and in some cases, decades, before the effects would be felt all across the board.

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Exhibit A…an Atlanta Hawks jersey.

Professional wrestling always had its share of gimmicks and carnies, but for the most part it had been centered on athletes working in the ring. While there were flashy personalities, some with elaborate ring entrances, when the bell rang you could rest assured that everyone in the ring knew what they were doing. But as we all know, the same thing won’t work forever when it comes to having a paying audience. Throw the explosion of television into the mix, and it was clear: the formula either had to change, or adjustments had to be made to accommodate for the television cameras. The fans no longer wanted to see plain old fashioned wrestling. They wanted some flair, no pun intended, in their action.

I’m not trying to say that the old style of wrestling is bad. I love the classic style of hooking and shooting, real wrestlers doing real moves. I just understand that there has to be an entertainment aspect to the business as well, otherwise we wouldn’t be watching pro wrestling…we would be in a gymnasium watching an amateur wrestling meet. There has to be some sizzle with the steak, whether it be in the flamboyant personalities that were developing at the time…the Billy Grahams and Ric Flairs of the world that were a direct contrast to former champions such as Lou Thesz and Frank Gotch, who were nothing more than no-nonsense grappling masters…or it be in the content of the wrestling itself. With the advent of broadcast television, wrestling was no longer a big-city arena sport: it was now in the homes of any American with a big enough piece of metal attached to their roof. Now, these wrestlers had a much larger audience than those who were paying for straight-up wrestling: they had to wrestle for every single person who might be flipping through the channels and come across their match.

I believe that when wrestling began to be heavily televised outside of its local markets in the 1960s and 1970s, it began the slippery slope that morphed the business into what it is today. Vince’s national expansion in the 1980s was nothing more than a capitalization on a trend that had already begun: an attempt to make professional wrestling more secular and more appealing to a broader audience, for the purpose of television broadcast. The territory system was not built to compete with television. I believe the writing was on the wall well before Vince Sr.’s death, and this match, awesome as it is, was the sunrise of one era and honestly, the sunset of another.

Memphis Wrestling was one of the hottest territories of its time, and survived well into the national expansion of Vince McMahon’s WWF. One of the reasons I believe it did so was because of its refusal to rely on the flamboyant gimmicks and showmanship that the Northeastern territory did, and instead stayed true to the gritty action in the ring. In their own way, Memphis Wrestling (at the time booked by Jerry Jarrett, father of Jeff Jarrett) was able to stay fresh without changing their product and at the same time, revolutionized professional wrestling as we know it. One way was to take the action somewhere that nobody had ever taken it: to the fans.

Jim Cornette wrote about this match a few years back. I included a link to his commentary to give you more insight on the match, and how it came to be. A combination of a shitty talent pool and really bad ticket sales led Jarrett to go for broke, making a very bold and brash decision to put the Southern Tag Team Titles on two midcard wrestlers who had just been paired together a few weeks before: Wayne Farris and Larry Latham. You may know them better as the Honky Tonk Man and Moondog Spot. Anyways, in Tupelo, Mississippi, a wild brawl of a match ensued where the two youngsters upset the champions, Lawler and Dundee, to win the titles.

That, my friends, is when all hell broke loose.

Lawler and Dundee, the faces in all of this mind you, began to viciously pummel the Bombers (who were the heels, remember) after the match as the television broadcast began to fade to black, going off the air.

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BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

You hear somebody yell, “get that camera down here, we have a hell of a fight!” When the video returns, we see the four men, bloody, brawling with one another through the concession stands of the arena. Food is thrown everywhere, bodies are mangled, and a ten-gallon jug of mustard meets its fate against the wall, missing the head of Latham by centimeters.

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“Mustard everywhere!”

Everyone who tried to get in the way got served. The tape was re-aired the next day, and the fire was started. According to Jim, this match was the reason he bought a VCR. The tape was passed around more than a doobie in Barack Obama’s dorm room, and a dwindling Memphis territory had new life. Also, I know that when you watch that brawl, three letters come to mind. I’ll give you two consonants and a vowel. If you need a hint, I should smack you.  This match reeks of ECW, at a time when Paul Heyman hadn’t even bought his first cell phone yet. Because they weren’t invented yet. And neither was “hardcore,” until this fateful night.

So why don’t we remember this classic match? Because Jerry Jarrett went to the well once too often, using this same brawl through the arena two more times in the next two years. (Think about that. Three arena brawls in three years and it overexposed the territory. ECW would run three arena brawls a NIGHT.) The fans were numb to it, because they had seen it all before.  This was where the hardcore, deathmatch style was born. On a tour from Japan, Atusushi Onita participated in one of the brawls. When he returned to his home country, he soon founded FMW, the first hardcore deathmatch wrestling promotion. This led to the American counterpart, ECW. Today many promotions either feature or are centered around hardcore wrestling and well, why the hell would you have a reason to care about this match I’ve shared with you? So what, Jerry Lawler tried to throw a jug of mustard at somebody. Now, you can look up a million matches with barbed wire, staple guns, fire, thumbtacks, or any other weapon you can think of.

I love my old school mat wrestling. I love to see two guys who can work in the ring. But sometimes, yes, I love to see two guys get so pissed off at each other that bare hands just don’t get the job done. I love a good brawl. Done right, and done sparingly, a good street fight can work wonders all around. This match made Farris and Latham stars overnight, and it shot a boost of adrenaline into a crashing territory. This is the first hardcore match I can think of, and it’s a very good flashback to yesteryear. But between the brawl itself and its broadcast on television, and its subsequent taping to be traded, this match also opened the floodgates, for better or for worse. Nothing can be done to go back and fix it, we can only move forward. Except for this series. We’re allowed to look back.

Next week, I’ll think of something else to shock you. There’s so many great matches throughout history, and so many of them right under our noses. Until then, I’m Madman Szalinski, and in the words of Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer…….”Yup.”

See the match for yourself here!

Also see Jim Cornette’s piece on this match here!

Photo Credits:

Photo 1: fineworkshops.com

Photo 2: wikipedia.org

Photo 3: youtube.com

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WWE Money in the Bank (2012) Review

WWE Money in the Bank (2012) had a huge drop off in quality from the previous year’s event. That is not to say it was a bad show because when you’re following up one of the greatest non-big four pay-per-views in WWE history it is kind of tough to stand up to the pressure. Anyway, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan had the match of the night though it wasn’t nearly as good as their past pay-per-view encounter thanks to the storyline and involvement of AJ Lee. Sometimes, when two great wrestlers are in a wrestling match then all they have to do is…you know wrestler. The opening ladder match was impressive and the second one that topped the card was even better. All of the other matches were filler except for the match for the World Heavyweight Championship, which saw Del Rio continue to feud with Sheamus in the feud that nobody asked for.

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Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) defeated Damien Sandow, Tyson Kidd, Christian, Santino Marella, Tensai (with Sakamoto), Cody Rhodes and Sin Cara in a Money in the Bank ladder match for a World Heavyweight Championship contract

Tensai assaults Kidd early on and the commentators talk about Kidd recently upsetting Tensai. Christian comes in and he and Kidd rule the ring until Christian turns on Kidd. The match goes on and emphasizes Christian and Kidd a second time when Kidd is laying on a ladder and Christian attempts a frog splash…but Kidd rolls out of the way. Ouch! Sandow is near the case at one point, but minutes later he is getting speared into a ladder by Christian. Sin Cara also takes a good spill off of the ladder when Tensai drives his head into some steel. There is also a fun comedy spot when Cody climbs the ladder and Vickie Guerrero comes up the other side to nag him off of it. Ziggler comes up from behind Rhodes and gets him off of it. Christian meets Ziggler on the ladder while Sandow and Kidd join them from other nearby ladders. Kidd powerbombs Ziggler off and the other two are soon out of the picture also. On the outside Tensai sets up a ladder horizontally and powerbombs Sin Cara onto it. Back inside Kidd, Cody and Christian take each other out as they try to climb including Christian spearing Cody off of a ladder. Christian gets back up and fights Santino off. However, just as Christian is about to grab the Money in the Bank briefcase, Ziggler sneaks up from behind and steals it.

Rating: 3.5 stars

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Sheamus (c) defeated Albert Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

Before the match, Sheamus gives a promo, Miz announces he will compete in the second Money in the Bank ladder match and Mick Foley reflects on his favorite WWE Monday Night Raw moment. However, the best segment before this match is a commercial for the 1989 classic, “No Holds Barred” starring Hulk Hogan. Normally, I don’t like commercials on my pay-per-views, but this is an exception! Anyway, on to the match! Del Rio attempts to dodge Sheamus early on, but Sheamus comes alive when Del Rio smacks him. Sheamus manages a clothesline from the top rope, but gets distracted by Ricardo allowing Del Rio to kick him off of the ring apron. Del Rio brings psychology to the match by targeting in on Sheamus’ arm. Del Rio cannot lock on the cross armbreaker though and Sheamus hits him with the Irish curse. Del Rio makes another mistake by trying to kick Sheamus in the back of the head and missing. This leads to Sheamus hitting him with the white noise and brogue kick for the victory. Del Rio and Ricardo jump Sheamus afterward and Ziggler comes out to collect. Del Rio argues with Ziggler when Sheamus wakes up to brogue kick Ziggler. Because Ziggler is out, but the bell never rang he still has his World Heavyweight Championship contract and Sheamus still has his title.

Rating: 3 stars

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Primo and Epico (with Rosa Mendes) defeated The Prime Time Players (with A.W.)

The current holders of the WWE Tag Team Championship, R-Truth and Kofi Kingston sit in on commentary for this match. A.W. provides his own commentary by wearing a headset mic. Primo and Epico take an early lead with Primo hitting a suicide dive and Epico nailing a plancha. Darren Young and Titus O’Neil take charge and get cocky as at one point A.W. even combs Young’s hair for him. Primo and Epico gain back their momentum after O’Neil gets distracted by having an impromptu dancing contest with Rosa. The match continues until the team from Puerto Rico win it with a roll up. The Prime Time Players confront the tag champs afterward and R-Truth throws water in A.W.’s face.

Rating: 2.75 stars

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CM Punk (c) defeated Daniel Bryan to retain the WWE Championship in a no disqualification match

AJ Lee is the special guest referee for this match. Punk throws Bryan out of the ring early on and the two trade chopfests on the guardrail. The chops don’t end there and the two are soon trading them inside the ring followed by trading kicks. The match is all over the place as Punk hits a suicide dive leading the participants to fight up and down the entrance way. AJ takes a bump off of the ring apron when Bryan pushes Punk into her. Bryan wallops Punk from behind while Punk is checking on AJ. Bryan then acts concerned for AJ before going back to attack Punk. Bryan hits a running knee from the ring apron to the floor and Punk is in trouble. Punk gets in some offense when they fight into the audience and Punk jumps off one part of the guardrail and clotheslines Bryan off of another. Bryan grabs a kendo stick, but Punk keeps ducking from Bryan’s strikes. Punk eventually takes a shot to the knee and another one to the ribs. Bryan becomes wild as he gives Punk multiple strikes to the back using the stick. Punk taps into his adrenaline and fires back by getting a two count and hitting his high knee. Punk tries the go to sleep twice, but Bryan escapes and kicks Punk in the head. Punk soon grabs the kendo stick and pays Bryan back for the shots from earlier. AJ comes out while the two are down on the mat. She brings in a chair and the two fight over it with Bryan winning. Bryan drills Punk, but cannot get the job done so he punishes Punk with some kicks. Punk clotheslines Bryan and pays him back again with some chair shots of his own. Punk tries to Irish whip Bryan into the chair, but AJ blocks it. Bryan kicks Punk into the chair, but AJ stops him from using the kendo stick. Punk slams his opponent on the chair, but misses the “Macho Man” Randy Savage elbow. Bryan tries to make Punk tap by using the Kendo stick, but Punk gets out of it. Punk slingshots Bryan into the turnbuckle and hits the go to sleep, but only gets two. Punk positions Bryan on the table so he can elbow drop him through it. However, Bryan gets up and attacks Punk on the ropes until Punk fights back and crotches Bryan. Punk performs a belly-to-back suplex through the table for the win.

Rating: 4.5 stars

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Ryback defeated Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks in a handicap match

The squash machine wins another squash match on a pay-per-view. Hawkins starts off against Ryback and bumps around plenty for him. Reks gets tagged in and actually gets in some offense. The two keep tagging in and out, but Ryback gets the match going in his favor by bodyslamming Hawkins and decimating Reks. Hawkins takes a sick bump to the floor and Ryback finishes Reks off with his shell shocked finisher.

Rating: 3 stars

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Layla, Kaitlyn and Tamina Snuka defeated Beth Phoenix, Natalya and Eve Torres

The crowd is pretty dead for this one until Layla gets tagged in and wakes them up by clotheslining Beth. However, Layla gets caught in a gorilla press slam position. This leads to chaos when all the competitors come in the ring and fight it out. In the end Layla manages to pin Beth.

Rating: 2 stars

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John Cena defeated Kane, Chris Jericho, The Big Show and The Miz in a Money in the Bank ladder match for a WWE Championship contract

Oddly enough Show is the first to do a neat ladder spot by throwing a ladder at Jericho to the floor while Show is standing in the ring. Show gets taken out early though when Cena gives him an attitude adjustment through an announce table and everyone buries him with ladders. Still, it is not over as The Big Show later comes back from the dead and rips apart a ladder as Jericho is climbing it. Show rules the match for a while and takes out a huge ladder from underneath the ring. Show climbs the ladder and Kane meets him at the top. Show punches Kane off and Cena comes up next, but gets headbutted off. Jericho attacks Show from behind with a chair and soon Jericho and Cena are climbing up each side of the ladder. Jericho crosses over the ladder and puts Cena in a sleeper hold while Miz tries to steal the match, but instead gets punched off of the ladder. Cena finally falls off of the ladder while Jericho stays on. Miz climbs up the ladder again, but him and Jericho get WMDs from Show as the giant climbs the ladder. Cena returns to the top and nails Show in the head with the briefcase. Cena unhooks it to win!

Rating: 3.75 stars

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Photo Credit: en.wikipedia.org

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How Do You Say “Oh My God” in Japanese?

Nani te koto. Well, according to Google Translate at least. Anyway, here is a clip for today:

Yes, nani te koto indeed. This match from FMW sees Megumi Kudo facing off against Combat Toyoda and shows just how good an explosive barbed wire match can be. Perhaps, surprisingly (or not) it also shows how dangerous an explosive barbed wire match can be. Not always because of the explosions and the barbed wire mind you, but sometimes just from the sheer stiffness of the workers involved. After all as this clip featuring Kenta Kobashi and Takao Omari shows you don’t have to work hardcore to work stiff:

Back to the match in question, Megumi begins by working on Combat’s arm a little and follows it up with some kicks. Combat strikes back and uses her weight advantage to put more power into her blows. Megumi survives them and eventually even bodyslams Combat.

Megumi hits the barbed wire first after a dropkick from Combat. Combat goes for an attack and a pin, but only gets two. Combat begins working over her rival’s back, but Megumi keeps kicking out and will not submit. Combat hits the barbed wire when she tries to charge Megumi and misses. Megumi doesn’t have time to brag because she soon goes into the wire again by falling back after a clothesline. Combat then delivers a German suplex, but Megumi kicks out. Combat gets a series of two counts including two after two Razor Edge-like moves. The move is called a “Selma Hayek” according to one of the commentators.

Megumi comes back at Combat by jumping onto her, but Combat catches her in a German suplex position. Megumi jumped with too much momentum though and the two fall into the wire again. Megumi finishes Combat off a bit later by hitting the Kudome Valentine aka the vertebreaker.

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6 Incredibly Overlooked SummerSlam Matches

Everyone remembers the classics, like when Bret Hart made Mr. Perfect tap at SummerSlam 1991. How about that time Bret Hart finally lost the WWF Intercontinental Championship to The British Bulldog at SummerSlam 1992, remember that? Then of course there was that time Bret Hart escaped the steel cage and defeated his jealous brother Owen Hart! Am I sensing a pattern here?

Anyway, even without Bret Hart matches a lot of bouts get attention such as Kurt Angle taking on Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam 2002. Despite being less than 10 minutes fans have called it the best opener since Wrestlemania X when Owen Hart took on…darn it! I almost got through an entire example without mentioning Bret Hart!

The point I’m trying to make is while SummerSlam has produced some classics a lot of the best stuff gets overlooked. So here, in chronological order are 6 Incredibly Overlooked SummerSlam Matches!

1. Rick Martel and The Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Tito Santana and The Rockers (1989)

Six man tag matches must be a devil to work because it is so difficult for everyone to get their spots in. Even if the match goes 20 minutes someone can get cheated in favor of others taking up more ring time. Yet, this match manages to make every wrestler shine and all six men work their asses off. Heck, the closest wrestler who comes to a deadweight is Shawn Michaels (if you can believe that), but in the last fourth of the match when he finally gets the hot tag it looks like he’s fighting to be the MVP of the night! Speaking of nights, Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura lend some fun commentary to the match as this was before Tony thought every night was, “the greatest night in the history of our sport,” so he did not completely suck. Also, Ventura seemingly predicts the night’s future as he says the phrase, “Marty Jannetty getting hammered in the corner.” More than anything though this match makes me think of just how underrated The Fabulous Rougeaus were as a tag team. Underrated by fans that is. Vince McMahon on the other hand saw fit to employ Raymond Rougeau for over 15 years.

2. The Hart Foundation vs. Demolition (1990)

It is a shame that Crush to this day still gets a lot of hate for replacing Ax in Demolition. Admittedly, Brian Adams did some annoying things like often screw up hitting the Demolition Decapitation, portray the lame Kona Crush character and shrink, replace the “i” in his name with a “y” and sing on the soundtrack to the movie, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (that was really annoying). Still, if Ax had to be replaced they could have done worse than working with Brian Adams and he proves it in this two out of three falls match. Since only two wrestlers could defend the titles against the Hart Foundation, Smash and Crush were chosen. Later on Ax appears to do a switcheroo, which is a little absurd as even a member of WWE Creative could tell Ax and Smash apart. The match is exciting up until the end and even features a cameo by The Legion of Doom.

3. Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake (1990)

The reason why this one isn’t fondly remembered is a no brainer. Sure, Hulk Hogan won, but he won by countout. This was in the days when a pay-per-view didn’t happen every other week and it was expected that any battle between two big names on a pay-per-view card would be the blow off. Fans who don’t like the match for that reason have some point to their argument. The way the match is set up it looks like the second part in a three act story. First, Earthquake beats down Hogan. Second, Hogan gets revenge, but Earthquake slips away. The third part should be Hogan vanquishing Earthquake once and for all, but that third part never really happened. Sure, Hogan eliminated him last to win the Royal Rumble in 1991, but that’s not the same as a singles win on a major card. On the plus side to their not being a real third part though perhaps it is better. After all, isn’t Empire Strikes Back the best of the original Star Wars saga? As for the match itself it is a wild brawl with The Big Boss Man and Dino Bravo interfering. Also, in a way it is good that Earthquake did not get pinned here as he looks like a beast after The Big Boss Man hits him with multiple chair shots and the natural disaster barely budges. By contrast, fans did get a thorough ending to Hogan facing a similar opponent years earlier when he defeated King Kong Bundy in a steel cage at Wrestlemania II. A year later Bundy was jobbing to little people. Years after SummerSlam 1990 Earthquake was still being booked fairly strong.

4. Shawn Michaels vs. Vader (1996)

This match was the main event in one of SummerSlam’s roughest years. Although 1996 may have been superior to 1995, the then WWF still had a pretty lean roster, which resulted in such non-classics as Owen Hart/Savio Vega, Sycho Sid/The British Bulldog and Goldust/Marc Mero appearing on the card. The silver lining in this was that the matches the WWF actually cared about were then given an abundance of time to unfold and were supported by a heavy amount of hype. Following, the Boiler Room Brawl, Shawn Michaels and Vader had a lot to live up to as despite what anyone thinks of the Mankind/Undertaker match it, it was like nothing anyone had seen before. Shawn Michaels of course delivered. Like the earlier mentioned Earthquake match some people may not like the ending of this match. Although Michaels scored a clean pin, Vader had previously one twice by countout and disqualification, respectively. I actually thought it was a pretty unique and interesting way to book the match and allowed Vader to not look completely like a chump. Vader would go on to do that in 1998.

5. The Acolytes vs. The Holly Cousins vs. Edge and Christian vs. Droz and Prince Albert vs. Mideon and Viscera vs. The New Brood (1999)

This match is a testament to just how strong the WWF tag team division was in 1999. Despite some great teams being in the match, this tag team turmoil marathon was not even for the tag team titles! Edge and Christian and The Hardys (still working as the New Brood) open things up with some nice spots and fast pace wrestling. In particular Edge pulling a spear off after running down the guardrail is impressive. Not all the teams are great as Mideon and Viscera and Droz and Prince Albert don’t do much. Yet, the Holly Cousins bring some comedy to the bout and The Acolytes demonstrate some impressive brawling as always. This match would be tremendously overshadowed by the still fresh table, ladders and chairs match the next year, which admittedly is a superior bout.

6. Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy (2001)

It is no secret that when the WWF decided to push the Hardys as single stars they were not met immediately with the same success they had as a team. Although this match does not have the number of insane spots you would expect from a ladder match between Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy it has its moments such as the two kicking each other off the ladder and Hardy’s sunset flip into a powerbomb off the ladder. Unfortunately, there is a goofy spot where Hardy is left hanging onto the WWF Hardcore Championship after the ladder is knocked down and RVD cannot convincingly knock him off. This spot goes by fairly quickly and hey did you nice I said, “WWF Hardcore Championship?” Yes, this match actually gave some credibility to a belt that had previously been traded between a way over the hill Pat Patterson, a way over the hill Gerald Brisco and one of the Godfather’s Hos. The match is worth watching especially if you want to see an early attempt by Hardy to work a great singles gimmick match. Hardy would go on to have even better gimmick matches against the likes of The Undertaker, his old TLC rival Edge and CM Punk.

Photo Credits:

Photos 1-2, 4-6: en.wikipedia.org

Photo 3: onlineworldofwrestling.com

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A Rematch From 1894

Even the commentators have to joke about this match by pointing out how way, way over the hill both competitors are. You have Abdullah with love handles that would be dripping down to the floor if it weren’t for his pants and Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan is…quite frankly in pretty good shape. I mean don’t get me wrong he still looks like a hobbit, but a hobbit who knows his way around a gym.

Sabu makes an appearance late to join the mayhem as does…Syxx-Pac? Reminds me a bit of that Sesame Street song, “One of These Things is Not Like the Other.”

 

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WSX Screwjob

Human Tornado was one of my favorite indy talents around the time WSX existed (2007). Here we get a little taste of the kind of flavor him and another indy darling, Jack Evans had to offer. I love that WSX actually gave these guys a reason to fight with the beef starting over a dance competition. Hey, at least it made more sense than Edge and Booker T. feuding over a Japanese shampoo commercial. Perhaps that isn’t the best comparison though as comparing any feud to that one makes me think of a crappy wrestling version of Godwin’s law.

Of course with WSX’s brief timeslot Tornado and Evans couldn’t showcase all of their talent so we get a screwy ending. Yet, the real WSX Screwjob would happen a short time later when MTV yanked away the company’s TV deal. Look out for cameos by Matt Classic, Lacey and Team Dragon Gate as they hype this match.

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