Sometimes when a person is given too much in too little time they self-destruct. Even worse this dilemma is not just limited to people with the first name, “Warrior,” but has affected people ranging from Corey Haim to Axl Rose to Dave Chappelle, sometimes tragically, sometimes in cases that bring out schadenfreude in just about anyone.
Kazuchika Okada undoubtedly had the most successful year of his career last year. That is until at least this year ends as the last few weeks have shown Okada may eclipse his previous success. Aside from winning the NJPW New Japan Cup 2013 in March, earlier this month he earned his second IWGP Heavyweight Championship.
Let’s back up a bit.
Manabu Nakanishi and Yuji Nagata vs. Riki Choshu and Kazuchika Okada
This match is from 2009, which doesn’t seem so long ago until you look at how different Okada looks from the previous hype video. Yet, Okada’s performance shows his talent even back then. He starts off with a killer looking dropkick, does a plancha over the top rope to the floor and sells like a champ throughout. Having been ready for so much more at this point and being given so much less has no doubt at least in part shaped his mindset to keep his success. Of course Chappelle, Rose and yes even Haim had to work on their craft to some extent before breaking through…and later breaking down. So far it looks like Okada can only reach higher ground as he helps carry NJPW, but no matter where he goes, the Rainmaker has already made his mark.
Okay, you TNA haters. It is true enough that the company has been guilty of all of these sins to some extent. Still, the asylum (or former asylum anyway) is nowhere near as badly run in TNA as it was in WCW. However, here are a few wrestlers TNA could sign to start fixing that. Why, you may ask? Just for giggles.
1. Vader
Vader made a brief return to the WWE earlier this year and promptly squashed Heath Slater. He then followed this up by coming to blows with a nearly 70 year old Harley Race. Even with Vince Russo gone the company has shown a desire to continue booking worked-shoots. Well, using the WCW philosophy there is no better way to trick an audience into believing something might be real than hiring someone who may actually have a screw or two lose. How else can you explain Scott Steiner’s 2000-2001 push? Sure, the mastodon may not be as fearsome as he once was and there is no way he can cut a promo like Scott Steiner (who can?), but to live up to WCW’s name TNA needs to starting taking chances. Incredible chances, illogical chances, idiotic chances! With TNA’s riskiest recent signing being Christian York a guy who probably should have been signed to a major company ten years ago and probably gets paid with Monopoly money, TNA needs to throw some big bucks at Vader to balance things out.
2. Shark Boy
With TNA showing some love for underwhelming reveals recently the company has taken some strides to resemble the old WCW. But was Devon really as bad of a reveal as Road Warrior Animal? Perhaps. Still, sometimes “perhaps” just isn’t good enough. A way to top this would be by running some short vignettes saying that “3:16 is coming to TNA” only to reveal that instead of Austin, TNA has brought back Shark Boy with his tribute to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin gimmick. Actually, going beyond just for giggles bringing back Shark Boy may not be that bad of an idea. He could work with a lot of the X division guys and TNA could probably get away with not paying him that much. Of course as long as York is willing to share his Monopoly money with Shark Boy then why not?
3. Adam Bomb
Now, I know what you’re saying. “Isn’t that guy dead.” No, that’s Brian Adams. Yes, it is easy to get the former Demolition Crush mixed up with people whether it be his former tag team partners or a Canadian singer-songwriter. What you also may be saying is, “Hasn’t Bryan Clarke been retired for like 10 years? God knows what kind of shape he is in?” To that I answer that if Brock Lesnar can return to the WWE in 2012 then surely Adam Bomb can return to TNA in 2013. If nothing else he could be signed to a short term contract and fed to a bigger hoss the way that he was fed to Bill Goldberg in the original WCW. I think Samoa Joe is hungry.
4. El Generico
Like Shark Boy this guy could fit in great by wrestling the X division roster. Plus, one of the legacies that WCW left behind was the company’s tendency to sign world class talent and do absolutely nothing with them. They had the technical wizard himself, freaking Yuji Nagata for over a year and the most he did was briefly feud with Ultimo Dragon and then was quietly swept under the ring. Just think of all the potential they could pee away with El Generico. Generico is one of the most well traveled independent wrestles out there and has wrestled in countries as random as Peru, Chile and Sweden. TNA signing him to an exclusive contract could kill that traveling act just like Nagata’s commitment to WCW prevented who knows how many potential great matches for NJPW. Somewhere John Laurinaitis’ mouth is watering.
5. Kevin Steen
El Generico and Kevin Steen go together like peanut butter and ketchup to a weirdo without taste buds. For some reason you can’t have one without the other. If TNA signed El Generico then it stands to reason that they would have to sign Steen…then promptly make no mention of their past history together. Steen is the kind of guy who could come in and if positioned right could look like a legitimate challenge to someone the company has already built up. Say Bully Ray for example. Of course if they were to follow the WCW model they couldn’t book him that well. After all his name is Kevin Steen, not Bil Goldberg or Lance Storm. So if TNA signed Steen then perhaps the best he could hope for would be a one sided feud with Bully before quickly dropping down the card. Alternatively, they could throw him in with Aces & 8s since the company loves to throw away talent that way.
6. Scott Steiner
As mentioned earlier no one can cut a promo quite like Scott Steiner so why not bring him back? He’s already suing TNA anyway so what could be a more amicable way to end this bad blood then with a nice fat paycheck. On the negative side Scott Steiner has been hit or miss in the ring for a while now and he’s not getting any younger. On the positive side the man has that Ultimate Warrior kind of appeal that can only come from some legitimate insanity. Kind of like why Damien Demento developed a cult following after he started making Internet videos a few years back. Wait! That’s it! Give Steiner his own Internet recap show! License to print money.
*The gigantic news coming out of this week is that after years of battling WCW, Vince McMahon has agreed to sit down with the company’s creative team. There is no word yet on whether WCW and WWE will be doing some inter-promotional work or if WCW just wants to pick the billionaire (millionaire?) brain of McMahon.
*In the last few days former WCW star Chris Jericho was reportedly approached by head of talent relations, Kevin Nash about signing a short-term contract. The contract was said to be for three months, but still be in the low six figures. A supposed witness account that Jericho responded by ripping up the contract and saying that he “will never ever sign with the company again” remains unsubstantiated.
*Sid Vicious is said to be highly upset about the ending of WCW Mayhem 2012. With his contract coming up it is looking more and more doubtful that he will re-sign. After being soundly defeated by WCW World Heavyweight Champion The Ultimate Warrior, Warrior’s Starrcade opponent, Bill Goldberg came out. Rather than going after Warrior directly Goldberg instead sent a message to him by spearing Sid before violently tossing him outside and giving him a jackhammer on the outside. Sid was further ticked off after the event when a member of the WCW creative team suggested that he reenact his infamous leg break from the WCW Sin 2001 pay-per-view on the following WCW Tuesday Nitro. Our source refused to give the creative member’s name, but hinted that it rhymed with Slenn Silbertti. Instead of turning his leg into sawdust Sid stayed home last night and is not expected to be at next week’s Nitro.
*Previously it was reported that the WCW creative team had been toying with the idea of inserting Vampiro into the feud between Scott Steiner and Vader. If you caught last night’s WCW Tuesday Nitro then you probably already know that is no longer the case. It is said that right up until show time creative were waffling between either Vampiro or the man they eventually decided on…Ron Waterman. Although Waterman hasn’t been inserted into the storyline yet it is rumored that he will be beginning next week. As it stands the angle is that Waterman will be going on a quest to uncover his real father. After ruling out all the other wrestlers in the locker room it will come down to Steiner and Vader. While common sense points to Steiner being the big bad booty daddy, with the all the twists and turns lately a Vader reveal is a strong possibility.
*Unlike Waterman, Vampiro already has his hands full in a storyline indicating that he will not be involved in the aforementioned Steiner/Vader feud. As seen last night Adolfo Tapia aka La Parka aka Pinkie Parka announced his replacement partner for the recently released Dionicio Castellanos Torres aka Psicosis aka Psicosis Sparkle in the red hot My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic inspired tag team. Rainbow Vamp came out to help successfully defend the WCW World Tag Team Championship in a match against Berlyn and Tokyo Magnum. It may have been surprising that neither Tony Schiavone nor Mark Madden made reference to the masked man being Vampiro despite his tattoos making it pretty obvious who he was. Yet, what may be more surprising is the word coming out is that this will continue and that Rainbow Vamp will be treated as an entirely new character with no connection to Vampiro.
*Chuck Palumbo and his manager Mike Sanders are a hot topic backstage following Palumbo’s back-to-back four star plus matches with Ultimo Dragon and Kaz Hayashi, respectively. Right now the plans are for Palumbo to be built up as a bad boy and for Sanders to sic him on every jobber that crosses his path. The end game being considered is for Palumbo to win the vacated WCW World Television Championship and bring back some prestige to that title. The championship has not been seen or mentioned since being physically lost last month. As of this writing neither Dragon nor Hayashi have been booked for any future WCW television tapings.
*Plans to bring in failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney for a one-off cameo were stillborn after the WCW higher-ups decided that it would not be beneficial for either party. The pros and cons of bringing in failed presidential candidate Roseanne Barr for a one-off cameo are now being weighed.
Disclaimer: Unless you got smashed in the face with Raven’s stop sign or shocked into amnesia with Scott Hall’s taser then you should know that none of this actually happened. The real WCW was purchased in 2001 by the company that would become WWE.
1. Sycho Sid vs. Vader from WWF In Your House 10: Mind Games (1996)
Thank you for your bandwidth. I’m Madman Szalinski, and I’m not here to bore you with the details about me. I’m a wrestling fan too, and particularly an old school one at that. Not that I can’t enjoy a good X division match like the rest of us, but I loved the old days. To start off, today I am introducing a six-part piece on forgotten gems in wrestling history…matches that should have stood the test of time, or at least gotten their own YouTube meme or a mention on Botchamania. Some were on shows nobody ordered, some are on tapes nobody can find and some we just…forgot. But that’s what I’m here for. For the next six weeks, I’m going to take you back to the past…like that one nerd.
Let’s jump right in with a match that’s not exactly 5 star material…but given its participants and the circumstances the end result was, dare I say, well above and beyond expectations.A little bit of backstory for you going into this one. We’re a month removed from SummerSlam, where Vader and his push were soundly defeated by the tandem of Shawn Michaels and douchebaggery. If I, as a 12 year old diehard HBK fan at the time, knew how Shawn had acted backstage legit…I could have turned out a WCW fan instead. But anyways, Vader had just lost a WWF Championship match he was supposed to have won. So, obviously, there was no master plan for him at this time. I wonder how thrilled he was now about leaving WCW and Japan. Meanwhile, Sid was fresh off a midcard victory over The British Bulldog, and he too was in a position where there was no master plan for him. As you may or may not remember, Sid came into the WWF in July 1996 to replace the Ultimate Douche-WARRIOR in a big six man main event, because Warrior no-showed a ton of events that may or may not have had to do with his dying father. So, what do you do with two big power guys that have nothing to do? You stick them into a match together and pray one of them isn’t Ted Arcidi.
On paper, most modern fans would look at this match and go “psh, I don’t see Kevin Steen’s name anywhere on the card.” But for those of us who remember, let’s delve into it. Sid was never a guy you looked to for classic mat wrestling. He’s not considered a good worker, if a worker at all. However, there are two things that Sid brought to the table. One was high impact power offense, and the other was impressive athleticism. While Sid just about never puts any effort into doing anything in the ring, on the rare occasion he does you can see the natural ability. In this match, you get to see both his power and his athleticism. Not only is Sid throwing his (and Vader’s) weight around with a bodyslam or two that actually look pretty decent (considering Sid was about 315 lbs. and Vader 450 lbs.), but you get to see the master of the squirrels whip out many of his common moves such as the crossbody from the top rope…
…wait. Pause the tape.
Sycho Sid hit a top rope crossbody on Vader. What? Next you’re gonna tell me Sid is going to hit him with a sunset flip…
…gee tee eff oh.
Honestly, these screenshots don’t do these moves justice. When Sid hit the crossbody, Vader didn’t just go, “GUFFAW!” and fall down like Jackie Gayda after a can of Four Loko. He caught Sid with one arm and held him for a few good seconds prior to slamming him to the mat. The sunset flip was very impressive as well. And when Sid wasn’t pretending to be Shawn Michaels (who was sitting right there at ringside doing commentary by the way) he was doing just that: slamming Vader like Onyx. Of course, Vader was returning the shots too. While these guys might not be Misawa and Kobashi mixing it up with their punches, this match has a little bit of a quicker pace than most Sid matches. And given that Sid is the runt of the two, I believe that means it’s possible that smaller, faster wrestlers actually slow Sid down, and he works at his quickest pace when facing a larger, slower opponent. (Please don’t prove me wrong by posting a link and saying “SEE? SID AND MABEL FROM 1995!” It’s Mabel and it’s 1995, it shouldn’t even count in the record books).
The point is, Shawn Michaels did his usual entertaining commentary and got to watch Sid pull some pretty acrobatic stuff, while Vader reminded everyone why Shawn didn’t want to take that ass whooping from him. There weren’t many slow points. The match was quick, but not so quick it required both men to stop and take a chinlock breather. The ending was cool, if not expected for a match with a Jim Cornette protege. Sid won after some botched chicanery, and went on to face Shawn in November at Survivor Series 1996, where he took the WWF Championship and the NYC smark crowd was pleased. I believe this match is proof they didn’t know what they were doing, because if the plan was Sid and Shawn all along, they should have used the commentary to push Sid’s agility and possibly that Sid was using Shawn’s style a little bit to piss him off while he sat watching at ringside. Or Vince just didn’t care because everybody was watching WCW at the time anyway. As for Vader, he did a metric shitton of nothing for the remaining two years of his WWF career, at which point there was nothing left to do but hit Japan on cruise control, his American career in shambles thanks to the abrupt derailing of his monster push. So, this is what I consider Vader’s final match in North America worth remembering until In Your House: Final Four next February. Then, that would be the end of his relevancy in this country…and that sucks ass from a straw with ten holes in it.
Either way, it’s a hell of a match that nobody remembers because it’s 1996 and the main event of this pay-per-view was a Shawn/Mankind brawl where Shawn hit Mick with the backdrop suplex off the top through a table on the floor. If you like seeing two big guys beat the crap out of each other while a skinny guy tries his best to make himself relevant throughout the match, then this will be about sixteen minutes of paradise for you. For the rest of us who just like wrestling…this is a good power match with two talented big men, with some pretty good surprises and not a great deal of filler. Oh, and Shawn Michaels on commentary.
Next week, I’m going into the future…one year. 1997, a wonderful year to be a wrestling fan…unless you were Brian Christopher. Why? Because you would be sitting backstage, watching the match I’ll be featuring next week and asking yourself “WHY did I sign up for this light heavyweight shit again? I’m going to be working with one of THESE guys?” Trust me…it’s a classic. I’m Madman Szalinski saying so long, see you next week (if not sooner), and always remember, in the words of Tony Givens…”Work to the left, you poorly trained fucks.”
See the match for yourself by clicking right here and here!
*Last night’s WCW Tuesday Nitro from the Hammerstein Ballroom is expected to be the last time the company will ever hold an event in that venue. Raven and Saturn put on a good match where they revisited their feud from yesteryear and earned cheers from a lot of the old ECW fan base. This good vibe was completely spoiled when boy band One Direction took the stage for a performance of their smash hit, “What Makes You Beautiful” prior to the main event. At least that’s what it was supposed to be. The band could barely be heard over the boos from those in attendance. New Yorkers greeted Hurricane Sandy with more warmth!
*With the audience exhibiting a “Beyond Thunderdome” level of animosity Sid Vicious and The Ultimate Warrior had their work cut out for them in their match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Not only were neither of them up to the challenge, but both completely gave up on trying to play to the crowd. The low light of the performance was Sid putting Warrior in a three minute chinlock followed by four bodyslams in a row.
*Scott Steiner and Vader are continuing to feud despite being shuffled down the card. The WCW booking committee is said to be high…on keeping the feud a three way affair. However, with The Ultimate Warrior now in a program with Sid the team is scrambling to find a replacement for him. A source tells us that WCW higher ups are looking for someone faster and younger to carry the workload in the matches. Vampiro has been suggested.
*Kevin Nash, head of talent relations, passed on signing Colt Cabana, Jimmy Jacobs and Adam Cole. He reportedly described the three as “vanilla midgets” in a conversation with Scott Hall within earshot of the trio. Kevin Steen fared better in his meeting with WCW brass, but will go as far as Cabana, Jacobs and Cole in WCW. Steen was offered the chance to lose to former WCW jobber Road Block in a dark match prior to last night’s WCW Tuesday Nitro. Steen declined reportedly saying that it would not be in his best interest.
*We can confirm that plans for a WSX invasion of WCW have finally been nixed. The storyline originally set to have former WSX ring announcer Fabian Kaelin lead a stable of ex-WSX wrestlers to invade Nitro was troubled from the get-go. Some within the company argued that the idea was way past its point of expiration. Others argued that WSX wasn’t around long enough to have wrestlers strictly thought of as “WSX guys.” However, the final nail in the (exploding) coffin was completely unrelated to these arguments. Instead the WCW booking committee ruled the storyline to be impossible since WSX’s style of editing couldn’t be mixed with WCW’s more traditional editing approach. Kaelin is still expected to appear in the company as the focal point of another New World Order rebirth angle.
*The plans for WCW Starrcade 2012 is still expected to be Bill Goldberg taking on The Ultimate Warrior for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. However, with Goldberg yet to reappear on WCW television since the company’s moderately successful tour of Germany it is unknown how this storyline will play out. In the meantime Sid Vicious is set to take on The Ultimate Warrior in a rematch of Tuesday’s horror show.
* WCW has come to terms with the release of Dionicio Castellanos Torres (Psicosis Sparkle) after he had expressed distaste with his My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic inspired gimmick. Contrary to what was reported previously WCW is not believed to be letting go of the other half of the WCW World Tag Team Championship holders, Pinkie Parka. Right now the plans are to keep the belts on Parka and team him up with another WCW luchador. Expect this wrestler to be based on another My Little Pony character because Pinkie Parka merchandise has been selling like hotcakes.
Disclaimer: Unless you got your head slammed in a cage door like Ric Flair or mule kicked by Bill Goldberg then you should know that none of this actually happened. The real WCW was purchased in 2001 by the company that would become WWE.
*Attendance estimates are still pending for WCW Halloween Havoc 2012, which took place this past Sunday. The planning for the show had several problems most notably having to change locations earlier in the month. Originally booked to take place at the Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington County, Virginia the venue had to be changed after massive protest from the families of current and past members of the United States military. An outdoor venue in Detroit, Michigan was then substituted to give the pay-per-view the proper vibe. Despite drawing a decent looking crowd the company will earn $0 in ticket sales due to this being a free live show.
*The main event WCW World Heavyweight Championship match received a mixed response. Going into the event, the mega over Ultimate Warrior had a ton of momentum taking on heel champ Scott Steiner and a returning Vader. The result was underwhelming with The Ultimate Warrior defeating Scott Steiner and Vader in a three way match in just over five minutes.
*Michael Buffer announcing Scott Hall as the current holder of the WCW United States Championship at the event was not a mistake. After defeating Rick Steiner at Halloween Havoc, Hall had another successful title defense against Tokyo Magnum on WCW Tuesday Nitro even though Hall never actually won the title. The word going around is that Hall was given the belt as a replacement after leaving the WCW World Television Championship belt at the previous tour stop in Green Bay, Wisconsin. There is no word on what will happen to former United States champ Ron Waterman.
* Carly Rae Jepsen’s 10 minute performance at the show is said to have cost WCW in the six figure range. Despite getting a surprisingly good reaction from the night’s crowd she is not expected to make any future appearances in the promotion. The company is still rumored to be in negotiations with some more top-level pop talent for future appearances. In related news Shane Helms, Elix Skipper and Shannon Moore have been released.
*The reason Bill Goldberg was left off of the pay-per-view card is because he is still on tour with the other half of WCW’s roster in Germany. Despite receiving massive face chants during WCW’s tour of Germany, Berlyn was jobbed out in his hometown of Nuremberg to an even more over Bill Goldberg in 30 seconds. Goldberg apparently had the day off during the next tour stop in Frankfurt leaving the WCW creative team baffled what to do with Berlyn. Just before showtime they decided to throw Ultimo Dragon in the ring with him and instead of another epic Goldberg squash, fans instead had to endure a 4 star plus match. Goldberg is expected to return on Friday’s show to face Berlyn in Berlin.
*Apparently, quad injuries keep Kevin Nash away from more than just in-ring action. Big Sexy called in sick to work for his new job as head of talent relations after complaining that he re-injured his quad while helping his son put away his tricycle. His son is now 16.
*Adolfo Tapia who portrays La Parka and Dionicio Castellanos Torres who portrays Psicosis are rumored to be unhappy in WCW and are negotiating on the terms of their exit clauses. This is despite getting huge pops as Pinkie Parka and Psicosis Sparkle in their brony tag team. La Parka and Psicosis are said to have no understanding of the gimmick and have never viewed My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. A source tells us that La Parka became particularly miffed when a clopper approached him in the Georgia Dome parking lot after a recent show. When asked why he would leave the company despite holding the WCW World Tag Team Championship, La Parka reportedly said, “Los bendejos es loco.”
Disclaimer: Unless you were hit too hard in the head by Sting’s baseball bat or got blasted by an international object then you should know that none of this actually happened. The real WCW was purchased in 2001 by the company that would become WWE.
Here is a random pairing if there ever was one. Beyond the surface one can spot some similarities between the two. Both had fairly forgettable runs in mainstream American promotions. Orlando Jordan managed to have a run with the WWE United States Heavyweight Championship, one of the most prestigious upper-midcard titles in the history of professional wrestling. Despite doing practically nothing with the title for nearly six months before dropping it in a comically short match he can still name it as an accomplishment. Yuji Nagata on the other hand has no similar accomplishments to speak of from his work in WCW, matches with Ultimo Dragon notwithstanding.
Nagata is hands down the superior worker. You’d have to look long and hard to find anyone who knows anything about the in-ring product in wrestling who disagrees. There is a reason OJ got the push over Nagata though. Unfortunately, speaking English and being able to do mic work no matter how lame it is goes a long way in determining who is pushed in mainstream American wrestling. That is why it is unfortunate that WWE and TNA have forgotten about managers. It is true that Yuji Nagata had Sonny Onoo, but that guy didn’t get anyone over in WCW. Dragon got over to an extent under Onoo, but it was nearly exclusively because of his in-ring work and not Onoo. If Nagata was paired with James Mitchell who was there around that time as James Vandenberg and WCW’s writers actually gave a darn he too could have been a credible U.S. Championship holder.
As for the match itself, it is pretty good with OJ pulling his weight though he is a little sloppy. He has certainly come a long way from his WWE days. Perhaps that match with The Ultimate Warrior gave him some perspective. At one point he even hits a beautiful elbow drop from off the top. Nagata is a technical wizard as always and ends the encounter with a release northern lights suplex followed by a crossface.
Warning: If you couldn’t stomach the original Memphis Hodgepodge then don’t even try to get through this one.
Since, I received such a positive response from the first Memphis Hodgepodge I thought I’d follow it up with a sequel of sorts.
So without further rambling lets get into the first few clips: The ripoffs.
Can you guess who The Warrior is a ripoff of? Yes, it’s an imitation of The Ultimate Warrior taking on everyone’s favorite masked Memphis jobber, The Scorpion. Shame his promos weren’t as insane as Jim Hellwig’s verbal tirades. This clips shows a bland challenge to Tony Falk (and also features a photograph of the real Ultimate Warrior to promote the fake):
I have no idea who played him. Some say Jeff Gaylord, but he sounds nothing like him in that interview. However, I do know that he wasn’t the only one ripping off one of the Blade Runners.
In the above clip, The Hornet as portrayed by Ron Oates takes on Danny Shannon. While it looks like the fake Warrior guy put in the seven minutes needed to learn Warrior’s move set Oates on the other hand had a more complex one to learn so he didn’t even bother. I guess his real name is appropriate since he is the John Oates of USWA Blade Runner ripoffs.
Continuing…
Yes, Memphis was just as lazy as the producers of those mockbuster movies in coming up with original names. Anyway, here is the USWA’s undead squash monster of it’s squash machines in you guessed it, a squash match (featuring Nate the Rate and Chris Frazier!):
Memphis didn’t just have ridiculous singles competitors though. The clip below shows, PYT (short for Pretty Young Things) as managed by Christopher Love. The team consisted of Eric Fontane and Randy Rhodes. Randy was basically a clone of Dusty Rhodes, but without anywhere near the talent or charisma. Instead his wrestling ability more closely resembled that of your average gas station attendant.
In the match they destroy Rockin Randy (a non-Rhodes) and the owner of the biggest ass in Memphis (and I’m not talking about donkeys), Freezer Thompson. Unfortunately, there was a PYT tag team predating this power duo that consisted of WWE Hall of Famer Koko B. Ware and Norvell Austin. In the USWA’s defense I’d like to think they originally planned to debut the tag team under the name of another Michael Jackson single, but “The Girl is Mine” wasn’t as catchy for a tag team dressed in frilly outfits. The company did have some sliver of originality because after all they gave us, The Dragon Master:
Like so many horrible gimmick wrestlers he of course went on to have a run with the USWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship and feuded with Jerry Lawler. The true identity of The Dragon Master is still open for debate, but according to this thread from Kayfabe Memories it was probably some guy named Gary Rich.
With all these horrendous gimmicks it might come as some small comfort that at least Mark Freer was there to keep it gangsta.
Teaming with New Jack as The Homeboy, the white as snow Freer took on the menacing as moths team of The Scorpion and The Shadow. After maxing and relaxing with “Nuthin’ but a ‘G’ Thang” playing, Christopher Love (now known as Bert Prentice) interferes with USWA World Tag Team Championship holders, Rex King and Steve Doll, the pairing that was Simply Divine. After Prentice and Divine do some boogieing of their own, New Jack and The Homeboy run them off and they all lived happily ever after (well, except the audience).
In the dying days of the USWA the people in the company were throwing anything against the wall to see what would stick. Accordingly it was only a matter of time before they put the gimmicks of “Macho Man” Randy Savage, The Ultimate Warrior, Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan in a blender and gave it to someone. It is unfortunate that the guy chugging down the frothy mixture was this obese lug. Scratch that “unfortunate.” This gimmick would have been “unfortunate” no matter what. Instead this uncoordinated whale taking on the gimmick can best be called tragic.
The above clip starts out sadly enough with Randy Hales blabbering on until Bert Prentice (who probably would have been a more athletic Ric Hogan) tries to calm him. Hales will not simmer down and instead continues to rant saying that his wrestlers will win all of the USWA’s gold. The sad part? Hogan already held the USWA Heavyweight Championship.
Hales is really pushing for a USWA World Tag Team Championship win. So how is he going to earn this? Is Hogan going to regurgitate some of that cursed shake and split into “Warrior” Hogan and “Macho” Ric, the latter of which sounds like a regular at a circa 1982 bathhouse? Thankfully, the creative team in Memphis had a sliver of mercy and instead paired him with Crusher Bones.
Crusher Bones starts the match off by beating on T.D. Steel, who by this point in his USWA run probably would have preferred working in a steel mill. Hogan gets tagged in and thrown by Bones into Steel. That should have been the match right there.
A side note that is worth mentioning: throughout this entire bout the commentary team is trying to get over “The Colorado Kid” Mike Rapada, arguably the lamest NWA World Heavyweight Championship holder ever.
Back to the action Flash Flanagan finally comes in, but apparently doesn’t want the stink of the match on him and tags in Steel. It really says something when Slash Venom from TNA is embarrassed to be in a match. He tags back in Steel who receives a gelatinous legdrop from Hogan to end this mess. Now, the healing can begin.
Two of AJW’s top talents fight it out title for title in this breathtaking encounter. At stake are the All Pacific Women’s Championship and the IWA World Women’s Championship. The former title would eventually have a nearly thirty year history and be held by notable women such as Leilani Kai, Bull Nakano and Aja Kong. Manami Toyota held the latter title for over two years when this match took place and had no intention of losing it.
Toyota’s opponent Kyoko Inoue was a diverse talent being able to throw smaller women around like Aja Kong, but being able to nearly match the aerial maneuvers of Toyota. Plus, she gets bonus points for looking like The Ultimate Warrior if he was a Japanese woman. Shame she did not use his entrance music.
Once the match starts The Ultimate Inoue makes it a point to attack Toyota’s legs early on. In between some submission moves I’ve rarely, if ever seen before she performs a spinning toe hold before changing focus. She then locks in a camel clutch followed by a torture rack.
Upon escaping the rack Toyota attempts to build up some momentum by hitting a second rope dropkick, but is momentarily brought down with a powerbomb. Toyota comes back with some high impact moves and before Inoue knows it she is locking on her own submissions. After Toyota rolls Inoue around the ring about a hundred times she gets a super close two count. Toyota then goes up top, but is hurled off the ropes by Inoue.
In control Inoue then hits some power moves before hitting an amazing elbow drop from the top. Unfortunately for her, in short order Inoue is launched out of the ring and Toyota jumps on the middle of the top rope and tackles Inoue outside.
Back inside Manami hits a picture perfect German suplex for two and Kyoko lazily kicks out. Some action on the ropes happens next, but it is not long before they are back outside and just as quickly back in again. There, Manami scores two top rope dropkicks, but misses a moonsault. Kyoko gets a stunning top rope slam off of Toyota and gets a two count.
Inoue revisits the beginning of the bout by going back to a submission, but Toyota reaches the ropes. Following this up, Toyota then gets four two counts when she reverses a powerbomb attempt, performs another German suplex, hits a tiger suplex and completes a moonsault. Up next, Toyota nails two Japanese ocean cyclone suplexes, but only gets two after the second one. Looking desperate Inoue knocks Toyota down with a lariat.
After some down time Inoue gets off a top rope gut wrench suplex and a powerbomb variation. Toyota tries to come back by bouncing off the ropes, but slips and takes a nasty spill. The end comes when Toyota is just able to get Inoue down for the three after a lightening quick sunset flip.
