Tag Archives: Vader

May 29 2013
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Wrestling Lists

Wrestlemania’s 8 Awkward Main Events

by Daniel Johnson

sychosid

For an event that is the Super Bowl of the wrestling industry and hyped as having the best against the best, a lot of the main events of the show have been pretty random. Instead of the legendary rivalries you would expect to headline sometimes the final pairing or whatever comes on last just seems…odd. Say what you will about The Rock/John Cena, but it definitely seems like a Wrestlemania main event with a top star from the past fighting a top star from the present.

On the other hand, the following were a bit awkward for the following reasons:

Wrestlemania XI: Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

lawrencetaylor

Not a bad match, but putting a novelty match featuring a football player ahead of the WWF Championship match? Of course, the WWF was in the crapper at the time so it makes some sense they’d want to leach off of a mainstream celeb, but still.

Wrestlemania XIII: Sycho Sid vs. The Undertaker

theundertaker

Bret Hart/”Stone Cold” Steve Austin didn’t need the WWF Championship, but does anyone think of Undertaker/Sid as a great rivalry? How many promos leading up to this can anyone even recall between the two? Too bad Mankind or Vader weren’t built up more and not stuck in a relatively meaningless tag match. Undertaker/Mankind or even Undertaker/Vader would have made more sense based on their history. Also if they went with Undertaker/Vader, Vader’s WWF run would be looked on more favorably. Alternatively, if they went with Mankind…just imagine what someone with his passion would have put into a one-on-one Wrestlemania main event!

Wrestlemania XIV: Shawn Michaels vs. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

steveaustin

This is a weird choice for a main event only because Austin/Michales was really the start of Austin becoming arguably the biggest wrestling star ever. When people think of Austin though I’m not even sure Michaels ranks among his top five most memorable rivals. In a way I like it as Austin beating Michaels kind of represents the Attitude Era replacing the New Generation Era. The only thing is Michaels fit in the Attitude Era too well to be thought of as New Generation. Too bad Bret wasn’t around to pass the torch and give Austin a win back as that would have worked better as a changing of the guard.

Wrestlemania 2000: The Big Show vs. Mick Foley vs. The Rock vs. HHH

bigshow

I kind of agree with some people’s line of thinking the main event of Wrestlemania should always be a one-on-one affair. I guess it accurately represents the Attitude Era as it crams in too much into too little a space (not always in a bad way). Still, I can’t help but think Rock/HHH in a singles match (where The Rock actually wins!) would have made more sense.

Wrestlemania X8: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

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The final match should have been The Rock and Hulk Hogan. HHH/Jericho has never been an even rivalry even back then. The crowd seems somewhat burnt out after Rock/Hogan and they never get anywhere near as loud as they got for that match.

Wrestlemania 22: HHH vs. John Cena

johncena

In 2006 Edge and Cena began one of the longest and most intense rivalries in modern WWE only for HHH to step in and claim the main event spot over Edge as that rivalry is heating up. The Edge/Cena war was rekindled a relatively short time after this to boot. This is the kind of thing that gives some credence to people demonizing HHH.

Wrestlemania 23: Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

shawnmichaels

The main event at arguably the biggest show the WWE has put on in 20 years features Michaels who at the time was in a weird transition period between DX and another singles push. Heck, he even uses the DX theme at the event despite HHH being injured and Michaels being the only active member. People in that kind of period nearly never win significant titles. Cena and Michaels (in a transition period) would have been fine for a second tier pay-per-view or maybe even one of the other big four pay-per-view events, but it seems out of place at the biggest Wrestlemania in years.

Wrestlemania XXIV: The Undertaker vs. Edge

adamcopeland

Okay the participants don’t seem that odd and they did have a memorable rivalry. However, given how much Raw was pushed over SmackDown during this time it does seem kind of odd. Especially given the commentary team. Jonathan Coachman called the main event of a Wrestlemania. Who would have thunk it?

As you can see in my opinion WWE had some logical main events for all their early Wrestlemania shows and the last few years have made sense. There are some questionable exclusions in this list. Hogan/Sid in the main event of Wrestlemania VIII made sense in that Hogan was still huge at the time and Sid Justice fit the monster mold. Despite being a terrible match, HHH/Randy Orton at Wrestlemania 25 was logically built up as a main event and Michaels/Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXVI also had enough of a story to main event. I could see the argument being made for The Miz/Cena at Wrestlemania XXVII as well, but Miz was kind of pushed as the be all and end all of cowardly heels at the time while Cena was his same Superman self, which seems like a logical bout for a Wrestlemania main event. Miz just kind of flopped as a main event player so it looks a little weird in hindsight.

Photo Credits:

Photos 1-9: en.wikipedia.org

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May 29 2013
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Wrestling Clips

Two of Japan’s Best Active Veterans

by Daniel Johnson

Yuji Nagata vs. Masato Tanaka

The above clip showcases perhaps the two best ring veterans in Japan currently still competing. Okay, unless the match involves The Great Muta that statement can’t be completely true, but Nagata and Tanaka are beyond good. In fact to call them simply good would be an insult. What makes these two so awesome? Well, for one thing during the hottest period North American wrestling may ever see, North American companies actually bothered to push these guys. These are the same kind of companies that hadn’t been able to push Japanese wrestlers correctly since about the time Mr. Fuji was an in-ring competitor. Nagata was put over Ultimo Dragon in WCW and ECW thought quite highly of Tanaka.

More impressive than their past accomplishments is that these two may not have just kept in shape, but actually improved since the 1990′s wrestling boom. Just look at the technique involved in this match as well as the variety of offense. Nagata opens with a kick and from there the striking just erupts. Masato also manages to clamp on a submission at one point I have no idea what to call. Basically he crosses Nagata’s legs, positions them on his groin then pulls Nagata’s arms backwards. A pretzel legged groin pull, I suppose?

They can’t keep the action up forever, but despite some restholds, the striking is only put on hold. When the fight goes outside, Tanaka takes Nagata down with a clothesline and suplexes him through a table. In the ring Tanaka attempts a powerbomb and while that fails he later hits Nagata with diamond dust. Not bad for a guy pushing 40!

Perhaps, the worst part of the match is the lame headbutts Nagata delivers, but he makes it up (or tries to) with a top rope northern lights suplex and eventually a belly-to-back suplex for the win.

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Jan 22 2013
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Wrestling Clips

Muta, Muta Everywhere

by Daniel Johnson

Hate vs. Nobutaka Araya

One criticism I’ve been seeing around a lot online of current NWA World Heavyweight Champion Kahagas is that he is a rip-off of The Great Muta. While there are plenty of reasons to attack the current incarnation of the NWA this one just leaves me scratching my head. Plenty of wrestlers have been influenced by Muta without facing as much criticism. One wrestler in particular, Hate is featured in the above clip.

As for the match quality of this bout it is an odd pairing to say the least. Hate flips off the audience to get some heat, but as soon as he goes after Araya (who in that yellow singlet looks reminiscent of a Peep) it is obvious Araya isn’t going to sell a lot for his much smaller opponent. Hate draws more from Muta and continues with his heel tactics eventually bringing in a fire extinguisher. Hate fails to use it the first time and Araya performs the move of the match shortly later with a Vader moonsault. I call it a Vader moonsault because it is obvious that whenever these guys try that move there is no way they are going to hit it. Otherwise there would be a Muta inspired pancake to scrape off the mat. Hate closes things out by throwing the fire extinguisher at Araya’s face which is apparently legal in Japan.

To get back to the initial point let’s play devil’s advocate and say Kahagas, Hate and other wrestlers are just ripping off Muta. Isn’t it more fun to have a bunch of Muta clones than generic guys wrestling in black tights?

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Jan 13 2013
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Wrestling Lists

6 Great Matches You’ve Never Seen: Part VI

by Jeremy Cundiff

greatestmatchesyouveneverseenlogo

Thank you for your bandwidth. I’m Madman Szalinski, and I’m just about done with this shit. By shit, of course, I mean this six-part series on great matches that might be a bit obscure. First, I’d like to go over the five matches I’ve already chosen, along with the main reasons for doing so:

#1: Sid vs. Vader (WWF IYH 10, 1996)
#2: Taka vs. Sasuke (WWH IYH 16, 1997)
#3: Blonde Bombers vs. Dundee/Lawler (Memphis, 1979)
#4: Regal vs. Goldberg (WCW Nitro, 1998)
#5: Bas vs. Kanemoto (NJPW, 2002)

#1 was chosen due to the extreme effort by both participants. For a matchup of two big men, moves were used that defied logic it seemed. I knew immediately when I started that I would be including this match for my list because I knew it was an overlooked match due to the main event, and that it exceeded many expectations coming into the opening bell.

#2 was chosen because of the historical significance, and the quality of the match itself. There’s no question, we had Taka Michinoku and the Great Sasuke in there, they both could be hungover and shitting Yoohoo, and still put on a three star minimum. I just didn’t thnk they’d ever be able to do it in America. This match, in my eyes, was much higher than three stars. This was a major shift in the WWF, and it was the first time any WWF fan had ever seen cruiserweight action like that. Another no-brainer to me.

#3 was chosen for, again, historical significance. The match itself was standard 1970′s Southern ‘rasslin. The Bombers weren’t the seasoned veterans we came to know them as (Honky Tonk Man and Moondog Spot) and I’m willing to bet they weren’t ready for what was going to happen that night. The brawl post-match, where the bare-plywood-for-walls concession stand got ripped apart, was where the true gem shined. Again, for a hardcore brawl, it’s tame by 2012 standards (unless you’re a mark for mustard.) But in the big picture, this match was actually very well done and even though I don’t like what it did to the business, I appreciate the entertainment value it gave me. So it was in.

#4 isn’t so obscure, I don’t think. Several people know about that match, and it’s been reported about more than once that Regal was intentionally shooting. When I first heard of the match, it was on Armpit Wrestling’s legendary listing of backstage fights. The following quote was straight from this list: “Regal could lead a dead man through a believable sequence, and I believe that’s what he was trying to do here. However, Goldberg flopped around and looked like an idiot.” I don’t know who wrote that, but dude…we didn’t watch the same match. Regal shot on Goldberg thinking he was going to kill the Goldberg myth once and for all. Goldberg came back and used more moves in one match than he had pretty much his entire career up to that point. While it was clear that Regal did prove the experience factor, Regal still got his ass beat (and countered cleanly a few times). Goldberg showed everyone that he COULD wrestle. It wasn’t just that he only knew two moves, but those two moves seemed to work for him. Hey, nobody is going to argue that Bret Hart knows more than five moves, but the Five Moves of Doom seemed to work for him, right? This match was chosen for the shooting, and the outcome.

#5 was the encompassing definition of what it took to make this list. The action was beyond expectation, the match was entertaining, and I never heard about the match to watch it before. I’d heard that Bas Rutten, one of my few favorite MMA fighters, had worked for New Japan. I found the match and watched it, expecting a Bam Bam/LT type match-up where only the most fundamental basics of pro wrestling would be used. What I saw was Bas and Koji telepathically agree that if there was a script, they didn’t need the motherfucker. And of course, there was this.

kojikanemoto

Yeah. Let’s move on before I laugh myself into asphyxiation.

So…the final video was kind of hard for me. I spent a week doing nothing but watching and searching YouTube like a Deep Web bot. I had included a big man contest, a hardcore brawl, a cruiserweight match, a worked shoot and a shoot shoot. I wasn’t sure what else to do. I was this close from just pulling a bait and switch, doing some M. Night Shyamalan shit and rambling about how “any match you haven’t seen before that entertains you is number six.” Fortunately for you, I’m not retarded and I found this.

6. Earl Caddock vs. Joe Stecher (Madison Square Garden, 1920)

This match is OLD. So old, it predates every promotion in existence today. So old, it predates the modern preconception of a wrestling promotion. It’s so old the copyright on the footage expired. This is one YouTube match that won’t be in danger of getting taken down anytime soon. But I wouldn’t wait forever to go watch it.

You want to know what you’re watching? Real wrestling. THIS, my friends is what professional wrestling forgot. These two aren’t showboating, although their personalities and characteristics are distinct. They are completely focused on the ring and what’s at stake inside of it. And that’s another thing. They’re not superstars or performers, or even talent. They were real fucking wrestlers doing real fucking wrestling. Nobody in that crowd questioned the “workrate” of these guys. They knew what they were getting was real. And there is some debate as to whether or not this match was worked. Remember, this was 1920 and Kayfabe Commentaries didn’t exist yet. There was no way of knowing for sure. Nobody wrote that shit down. And you know what? THAT’S FINE WITH ME. I don’t need to know everything going on in the locker room to enjoy pro wrestling.

Was it a shoot? A work? I don’t know, but you don’t fake the effort these guys put on in the ring. You might not see a shitton of bump taking or many Irish whips to the ropes for that matter. But you will see two guys legitimately scrapping with each other on the mat, clawing for the championship that was on the line. And to let you know how wrestling has changed, the match ended in two hours (video only shows around 25 minutes.) The length of an entire episode of Smackdown or Impact, being just one match, no commercial breaks…yeah, we’re getting robbed. Oh, and the finish? A leg-scissors and wristlock combination. The leg-scissors was a common finisher for this guy. His opponent wouldn’t submit, so he turned him over and pinned him.

I also saw Jiu-Jitsu rear mounts in there, I saw armbars and toe locks, I saw punches and I saw elbows. I saw a real wrestling match that entertained me greatly, with moves I haven’t seen for a long time in the ring. I knew these were two guys who could finish this match, and then beat the shit out of every man in that building who dared say something. I’d love to see a group of Marine thugs in Syracuse try to tackle one of these two on the street. You just know watching these two that they could shoot on virtually ANYBODY in the business today, and nobody could stop them. Legit tough men, with legit grappling skills, trying to get paid and get respect. Not show-offs or prima donnas who couldn’t wrestle, so they learned how to get beat up by the men who truly could. Now, don’t get me wrong…I am not disrespecting those men at all. Shawn Michaels is one of my all time favorites and he sucks worse at shooting than Dick Cheney. But I’m saying that pro wrestling needs legit wrestlers, tough men who can wrestle, in order to be taken seriously again. It needs men like these two, who knew how to cater to the fans or how to rouse them, yet understood that it began and ended IN THE RING. That’s what matters to those casual fans, the total marks, the smart marks, and overall to me as well.

And while this might have been a World championship match…neither Caddock or Stetcher were considered close to “the best in the business”, not then nor now. That’s the thought I wish to leave you with.

I’m Madman Szalinski, and in the words of Teddy Hart…”All that really matters is I took three hours of your day where you didn’t have to think about your bills, your pains, or your worries. You got to live in a reality called professional wrestling. Don’t let it die, my friend.”

billymays

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Now that this massive piece is finished, what the hell should I do next? Any comments, suggestions or death threats? There’s a comment button right below me, so feel free to give me an idea of what you’d like to see me do next (or tell me how I did with this effort). And if you’d rather do it privately, I’m sure there’s a link to my e-mail somewhere around here. Again, below me.

madman_szalinski@hotmail.com (and it works for Windows Live, too!)

See the match for yourself here!

Photo Credits:

Photo 1: youtube.com

Photo 2: en.wikipedia.org

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Jan 06 2013
2 Comments
Wrestling Clips

Why Hasn’t There Been a Vader and Stevie Richards Tag Team Yet?

by Daniel Johnson

Kevin Sullivan and Gangrel vs. Cassidy Riley and Steve Madison

To celebrate the release of his new film I thought I would post a Kevin Sullivan match. Okay, maybe Kevin Sullivan didn’t actually appear in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, but he sure looks like he could have. On the other hand Gangrel doesn’t look like he’d fit in that cast at all. Not even as an orc. As a matter of fact other than having gimmicks that could broadly be described as occult, Sullivan and Gangrel don’t have much in common at all.

Yet, that is the beauty of the indies. Aside from showcasing matches that never happened in the big leagues, it can also create new teams of competitors with very different backgrounds. With that in mind I’m surprised even more random pairings haven’t happened. Why not see what a tag team of Steve Corino and Shane Douglas can do? How about New Jack and Colt Cabana? A lot of random pairings may be car crashes, but they could also lead to some fun surprises. At minimum it could be more enjoyable than watching teams’ 10 years or more past their prime try to relive their glory days.

As for this match there is not much to say. Madison throws some punches to start it off and that is pretty much the match. Tons of brawling and a referee even gets caned before Riley pins Sullivan amidst the mayhem.

Good or bad after watching this one I just have one question, “Why hasn’t there been a Vader and Stevie Richards tag team yet?”

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Dec 28 2012
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Wrestling Lists

6 Wrestlers TNA Should Sign/Re-sign…Just for Giggles

by Daniel Johnson

I’ve heard TNA called the “spiritual successor of WCW” and for a while I almost believed it. However, if you’ve been watching TNA television lately then you’ll know that TNA is far too financially responsible to be the spiritual successor of Ted Turner’s money pit. Where are all the needless mini-concerts by incredibly pricey music groups, D-list celebrities and contracts for stars of yesteryear?

Okay, you TNA haters. It is true enough that the company has been guilty of all of these sins to some extent. Still, the asylum (or former asylum anyway) is nowhere near as badly run in TNA as it was in WCW. However, here are a few wrestlers TNA could sign to start fixing that. Why, you may ask? Just for giggles.

1. Vader

Vader made a brief return to the WWE earlier this year and promptly squashed Heath Slater. He then followed this up by coming to blows with a nearly 70 year old Harley Race. Even with Vince Russo gone the company has shown a desire to continue booking worked-shoots. Well, using the WCW philosophy there is no better way to trick an audience into believing something might be real than hiring someone who may actually have a screw or two lose. How else can you explain Scott Steiner’s  2000-2001 push? Sure, the mastodon may not be as fearsome as he once was and there is no way he can cut a promo like Scott Steiner (who can?), but to live up to WCW’s name TNA needs to starting taking chances. Incredible chances, illogical chances, idiotic chances! With TNA’s riskiest recent signing being Christian York a guy who probably should have been signed to a major company ten years ago and probably gets paid with Monopoly money, TNA needs to throw some big bucks at Vader to balance things out.

2. Shark Boy

sharkboy

With TNA showing some love for underwhelming reveals recently the company has taken some strides to resemble the old WCW. But was Devon really as bad of a reveal as Road Warrior Animal? Perhaps. Still, sometimes “perhaps” just isn’t good enough. A way to top this would be by running some short vignettes saying that “3:16 is coming to TNA” only to reveal that instead of Austin, TNA has brought back Shark Boy with his tribute to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin gimmick. Actually, going beyond just for giggles bringing back Shark Boy may not be that bad of an idea. He could work with a lot of the X division guys and TNA could probably get away with not paying him that much. Of course as long as York is willing to share his Monopoly money with Shark Boy then why not?

3. Adam Bomb

adambomb

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Isn’t that guy dead.” No, that’s Brian Adams. Yes, it is easy to get the former Demolition Crush mixed up with people whether it be his former tag team partners or a Canadian singer-songwriter. What you also may be saying is, “Hasn’t Bryan Clarke been retired for like 10 years? God knows what kind of shape he is in?” To that I answer that if Brock Lesnar can return to the WWE in 2012 then surely Adam Bomb can return to TNA in 2013. If nothing else he could be signed to a short term contract and fed to a bigger hoss the way that he was fed to Bill Goldberg in the original WCW. I think Samoa Joe is hungry.

4. El Generico

elgenericoLike Shark Boy this guy could fit in great by wrestling the X division roster. Plus, one of the legacies that WCW left behind was the company’s tendency to sign world class talent and do absolutely nothing with them. They had the technical wizard himself, freaking Yuji Nagata for over a year and the most he did was briefly feud with Ultimo Dragon and then was quietly swept under the ring. Just think of all the potential they could pee away with El Generico. Generico is one of the most well traveled independent wrestles out there and has wrestled in countries as random as Peru, Chile and Sweden. TNA signing him to an exclusive contract could kill that traveling act just like Nagata’s commitment to WCW prevented who knows how many potential great matches for NJPW. Somewhere John Laurinaitis’ mouth is watering.

5. Kevin Steen

kevinsteen

El Generico and Kevin Steen go together like peanut butter and ketchup to a weirdo without taste buds. For some reason you can’t have one without the other. If TNA signed El Generico then it stands to reason that they would have to sign Steen…then promptly make no mention of their past history together. Steen is the kind of guy who could come in and if positioned right could look like a legitimate challenge to someone the company has already built up. Say Bully Ray for example. Of course if they were to follow the WCW model they couldn’t book him that well. After all his name is Kevin Steen, not Bil Goldberg or Lance Storm. So if TNA signed Steen then perhaps the best he could hope for would be a one sided feud with Bully before quickly dropping down the card. Alternatively, they could throw him in with Aces & 8s since the company loves to throw away talent that way.

6. Scott Steiner

scottsteinerAs mentioned earlier no one can cut a promo quite like Scott Steiner so why not bring him back? He’s already suing TNA anyway so what could be a more amicable way to end this bad blood then with a nice fat paycheck. On the negative side Scott Steiner has been hit or miss in the ring for a while now and he’s not getting any younger. On the positive side the man has that Ultimate Warrior kind of appeal that can only come from some legitimate insanity. Kind of like why Damien Demento developed a cult following after he started making Internet videos a few years back. Wait! That’s it! Give Steiner his own Internet recap show! License to print money.

Photo Credits:

Photos 1-2, 4-6: en.wikipedia.org

Photo 3: onlineworldofwrestling.com

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Dec 07 2012
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Wrestling Clips

Tatanka is Back…in Lucha Form

by Daniel Johnson

Blue Demon Jr. vs. Tatanka

Remember a while back when after nine years Tatanka returned to the WWE? No, not that stretched where he dawned some KISS makeup and went after the evil white man, Bobby Lashley, but his initial return. It sure was awkward (and kind of awesome) to see Tatanka come back after such a long period and WWE creative seemingly just expecting him to blend in. So what was Tatanka doing in the period in between? Well, with Internet video sites still young at that point (heck, YouTube didn’t even exist) it was kind of tough to keep tabs on Tatanka. However, we can rectify this by keeping tabs now! This way if Tatanka makes a surprise return in 2016 we’ll know what he has been up to.

By the looks of this match we won’t have to worry about Tatanka returning in 2016. He is not in bad physical shape, but is showing his age in terms of technique. He can’t produce the same quality bouts he had with Rick Martel and Shawn Michaels back in the day or so it seems. Then again he is working with Blue Demon Jr. who shows his age as well. Check out how he lazily kicks out of Tatanka’s top rope chop.

All in all this match is still worth a look. I mean just for the randomness of it. Blue Demon Jr. taking on Tatanka? That’s almost as random as Vader taking on little known Japanese wrestler Tiger Shark. Wait…that happened too?

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Dec 02 2012
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Wrestling Lists

6 Great Matches You’ve Never Seen: Part II

by Jeremy Cundiff

2. Taka Michinoku vs. The Great Sasuke from WWF In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede (1997)

Thank you for your bandwidth. Last week, you asked me for a great match you had never seen and I gave you Sid vs. Vader. For those of you who didn’t run screaming, this week I’ll be rewarding you for your loyalty. And if you’re just tuning in, this is the second of six installments where I dig up classic matches that nobody remembers seeing. Today, we go from 1996 in the WWF to 1997, and it’s going to look like a whole new world. For those of you who don’t remember…the first image is the WWF in 1996.

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WWF entryway and ring from 1996

Then came 1997…

wwfentryway1997

WWF entryway and ring from 1997

This was only a nine month period, by the way. Within another nine month period, we would have practically a new company, as everything from the Raw theme to the WWF logo itself would change drastically. I got to say that to a young kid like me who spent his entire childhood watching the old red, white and blue roped product, only to hit junior high and see the WWF grow up with you, turning from a family-friendly cartoon into a cutting-edge rock music video…I really don’t care how badly I am butchering English grammar. The WWF was fucking unrecognizible from one side of the transition to the other, and I got to have a front row seat for the greatest time to be a wrestling fan. It really was another Golden Era.

But not everything was a resounding success back then. For every Steve Austin, The Rock, Mankind and D-Generation X…you have Brawl For Alls, Billy Gunn King Of The Rings and you have WWF Light Heavyweight Championships. Not all of it worked. One day I’ll rip the Brawl For All out of its own rectum in a separate article, and I know someone else will already have the ‘biggest disappointments of all time’ covered somewhere down the road. But out of all of those things I just mentioned, the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship should have not only worked…it should have flourished. It was the hardest of the three to fuck up.

In the summer of 1997, the WWF and WCW were on a hot streak that was so hot, we’re still finding pieces of molten metal to this day from the trail that the business left during that period. Every time we see Ryback squash somebody, a piece of history flies off into the crowd. One of WCW’s biggest draws was one of its smallest…its cruiserweight division. Rey Mysterio Jr. and Eddie Guerrero are the two who acheived the most success outside of WCW, but it’s not like they had a bunch of scrubs to work with: Chris Jericho, Ultimo Dragon, Psychosis, Juventud Guerrera, Alex Wright, any Mexican luchador you can think of who wasn’t signed long-term to AAA or CMLL, and many more. And while two 240-pound men can put on a mat wrestling clinic, and pack it with tons of drama and action…let’s face it. There are things a smaller wrestler can do that the big boys just got to give up and go home on. And these men would follow up such high-flying offense with a power move to equal. Chris Jericho would powerbomb your ass, pick you up off the ground, powerbomb you again, then bounce off the ropes and hit you with a springboard moonsault. You know…I think Kurt Angle is one of the best of all-time, but I don’t see him pulling off a springboard anything. (Well, given his track record wth the 450, I predict that if Kurt Angle tries to springboard anything, he will just headbutt his opponent so hard they shit themselves.)

Naturally, when your competitor is doing something different and making money at it…you have to do the obvious and copy the bastard, or come as close as you can to copying him without breaking the law. So Vince McMahon did the smart thing, and introduced the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship. Vince then did the dumb thing and booked the worst fucking tournament ever to crown the inaugural champ. This tournament was the worst of all time. At least until Survivor Series 1998. Want proof? Let me give you the first round brackets. Aguila, known better as Essa Rios, defeats Super Crazy in a botchtastic clusterfuck of a match I remember watching live on Monday Night Raw while Jim Cornette, on commentary, blasted the fuck out of it because both guys were sloppy as piss. While some people like to call him an old fogey set in his ways, you couldn’t argue with him watching this match. It was pretty bad. The rest of this thing? Eric Shelley over Scott Taylor, Brian Christopher and Flash Flanagan. Jerry Lynn was advertised to be in one of the opening matches, but something tells me the weed wore off right before the pen in his hand touched the paper because he never did show up for that first round match. Way to add prestige to your brand new title by having one of the best talents in the division ditch your tournament before the first round.

Oh, and Devon Storm lost to the eventual winner, Taka Michinoku. Taka Michinoku…now there is a man with some talents and abilities. A man that, honestly, you could watch walk into a new company in a foreign country, win a belt, and not question it because let’s face it, the guy can wrestle. But nobody in the WWF knew that. Only one of those guys had ever stepped foot in a WWF ring before this tournament in Scott Taylor, and he was perennial enhancement talent up to this point.

Well, I take that back. Two of them. Because in July, Taka Michinoku made his WWF Debut against…THE GREAT FUCKING SASUKE. That’s right. Pick the brick up that just fell from under your chair. Taka Michinoku wrestled Great Sasuke on a WWF pay-per-view. In 1997. But wrestled isn’t the word for it, more like kit-foo’d.

takamichinoku

Kit-foo means “kicked the fuck out of.”

And that was this match. Kicks, kicks, flying kicks, flying moves, grappling, holy shit slap, kick, slap…and then they stopped playing around, and began to really tear into one another. At one point I wondered if maybe one of them owed the other money, or if Taka ate the last piece of sushi at lunch, possibly Sasuke screwed his sister and this was a precursor to the Val Venis pee pee angle…I don’t know, I just want to know why these two got in the ring, worked for two minutes, then mutually agreed that they would begin to stiff and shoot until either they died or the FBI sent riot troops to protect the crowd from the shockwaves when these guys hit each other. I thought I saw the ring ropes themselves cower in fear at some of the kicks Sasuke was landing.

Look this match up. I won’t post .gifs or stillshots of this match (other than the one above) because they won’t do it justice. No matter how high the quality or the framerate, I cannot articulate this match to you with neither words nor pictures. Stiff, stiff, stiff. No restholds necessary for these two, despite going fifteen minutes. Plenty of dives to the floor. Taka does a springboard plancha to the outside and gets so much airtime on his jump, I thought he was going to check a faulty lightbulb while he was up there. He had to have died a minimum of three times in this match, and still kicked out on rigor mortis alone. After it’s all over, Taka eventually does the job to Sasuke…who poses briefly, and then it’s back to the locker room and back to reality for the WWF fans.

Daniel pointed out to me that yes, these two did have a second match on Raw the next night after this match. Strangely enough, Taka lost yet again making me wonder who was supposed to win that belt in the first place. If it was Taka, making him lose his first two matches really hurt the credibility of the title in my opinion, particularly in such good matches. Taka needed to have a match of this caliber where he WON. They just needed to pay Sasuke whatever they needed to pay him to  job this match. If they had, perhaps the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship would have been so much more prestigious that instead of the afterthought that the title had become (in less than two years, Gillberg would be your damn LHC) it might have gotten the dignity it deserved. This match should have been the showpiece for the WWF’s Light Heavyweight Division. If you had told the 12 year old me watching this match that there was an entire division with titles just for guys this small who did this stuff, I’d swear to never watch a heavyweight match again until the next week on Raw.

So…why don’t people remember this match? Because it was Calgary Stampede, a throwaway show with only one match: the ten-man tag featuring The Hart Foundation versus the makeshuft tandem of The Legion of Doom, Goldust, Ken Shamrock, and Steve Austin. The only reason this shit even sold tickets and pay-per-view buys was the fact that it took place in Calgary and the place went apeshit for the Harts. They also went apeshit for this match as well. I think this match was a treat for the smart fans of Canada, and possibly the smart fans in America as well. If this pay-per-view had taken place in, say, Pittsburgh or Kansas City…I highly doubt we would have gotten such a good match. This pay-per-view was meant to put the Harts over and make everybody a ton of money for going black and pink for a day. A lot of stuff got overlooked, including the WWF Championship itself.

A smart man would have paid The Great Sasuke whatever he asked for to do the job to Taka. I don’t know if the plan was for Taka to become the first LHC all along, but if it was, they did a shitty job of making us think he was a credible champion right out of the gate with this match. He made us believe he was a tremendous wrestler and he would never give up, that he had a fighting spirit and was somebody we all should rally behind. But those are qualities of a championship CONTENDER. Those aren’t qualities of somebody you want to put the belt on initially. If this was the route they wanted to go, they needed to put the belt on the only other person they seemed to give a shit about pushing in the Light Heavyweight division…Brian Christopher. Problem was, he was a half-ass worker from Memphis who, quite honestly, couldn’t hang with the Japanese or Mexican workers or even the American high flyers. If you don’t remember, he was Jerry Lawler’s son, and they all but told you this on TV because fuck it, had to get him over somehow.

So this thing was kind of doomed from the start, as they had to make everyone look like a credible contender all at once, and there’s only one belt you can give to a guy. Nobody knew who these guys were, and all they knew is they were good, but when we saw them the first time they got beat. Some more effort into pushing who you had, or at least going out and paying the money for a little bit more, could have went a long way. Oh well, at least we got to see a kick ass cruiserweight puro match in the WWF. And that’s awesome with me.

Next week…I’m not sure what you’re going to get, but whatever it is, rest assured it’ll be awesome. It’s a surprise. Hey, maybe you could leave comments and suggestions to me as well. I like to incorporate other people’s opinions into my work, it’s how you become a better critic. I’m also curious to see what people think of my work so far. So please drop me a line. We have a comment button for a reason. I’m Madman Szalinski, and in the words of Jim Cornette…”if you wanna know what a guy looks like with bald hair, tell me first so I can book him in a hair match and sell some tickets, k? Thank you, fuck you, bye.”

See the match for yourself by forking over $94.99 to Amazon for a VHS tape because YouTube hates us.

Photo Credits:

Photos 1-3: youtube.com

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Nov 28 2012
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Smooth Runs

WCW Breaking News 11/28/12

by Daniel Johnson

*The gigantic news coming out of this week is that after years of battling WCW, Vince McMahon has agreed to sit down with the company’s creative team. There is no word yet on whether WCW and WWE will be doing some inter-promotional work or if WCW just wants to pick the billionaire (millionaire?) brain of McMahon.

*In the last few days former WCW star Chris Jericho was reportedly approached by head of talent relations, Kevin Nash about signing a short-term contract. The contract was said to be for three months, but still be in the low six figures. A supposed witness account that Jericho responded by ripping up the contract and saying that he “will never ever sign with the company again” remains unsubstantiated.

*Sid Vicious is said to be highly upset about the ending of WCW Mayhem 2012. With his contract coming up it is looking more and more doubtful that he will re-sign. After being soundly defeated by WCW World Heavyweight Champion The Ultimate Warrior, Warrior’s Starrcade opponent, Bill Goldberg came out. Rather than going after Warrior directly Goldberg instead sent a message to him by spearing Sid before violently tossing him outside and giving him a jackhammer on the outside. Sid was further ticked off after the event when a member of the WCW creative team suggested that he reenact his infamous leg break from the WCW Sin 2001 pay-per-view on the following WCW Tuesday Nitro. Our source refused to give the creative member’s name, but hinted that it rhymed with Slenn Silbertti. Instead of turning his leg into sawdust Sid stayed home last night and is not expected to be at next week’s Nitro.

*Previously it was reported that the WCW creative team had been toying with the idea of inserting Vampiro into the feud between Scott Steiner and Vader. If you caught last night’s WCW Tuesday Nitro then you probably already know that is no longer the case. It is said that right up until show time creative were waffling between either Vampiro or the man they eventually decided on…Ron Waterman. Although Waterman hasn’t been inserted into the storyline yet it is rumored that he will be beginning next week. As it stands the angle is that Waterman will be going on a quest to uncover his real father. After ruling out all the other wrestlers in the locker room it will come down to Steiner and Vader. While common sense points to Steiner being the big bad booty daddy, with the all the twists and turns lately a Vader reveal is a strong possibility.

*Unlike Waterman, Vampiro already has his hands full in a storyline indicating that he will not be involved in the aforementioned Steiner/Vader feud. As seen last night Adolfo Tapia aka La Parka aka Pinkie Parka announced his replacement partner for the recently released Dionicio Castellanos Torres aka Psicosis aka Psicosis Sparkle in the red hot My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic inspired tag team. Rainbow Vamp came out to help successfully defend the WCW World Tag Team Championship in a match against Berlyn and Tokyo Magnum. It may have been surprising that neither Tony Schiavone nor Mark Madden made reference to the masked man being Vampiro despite his tattoos making it pretty obvious who he was. Yet, what may be more surprising is the word coming out is that this will continue and that Rainbow Vamp will be treated as an entirely new character with no connection to Vampiro.

*Chuck Palumbo and his manager Mike Sanders are a hot topic backstage following Palumbo’s back-to-back four star plus matches with Ultimo Dragon and Kaz Hayashi, respectively. Right now the plans are for Palumbo to be built up as a bad boy and for Sanders to sic him on every jobber that crosses his path. The end game being considered is for Palumbo to win the vacated WCW World Television Championship and bring back some prestige to that title. The championship has not been seen or mentioned since being physically lost last month. As of this writing neither Dragon nor Hayashi have been booked for any future WCW television tapings.

*Plans to bring in failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney for a one-off cameo were stillborn after the WCW higher-ups decided that it would not be beneficial for either party. The pros and cons of bringing in failed presidential candidate Roseanne Barr for a one-off cameo are now being weighed.

Disclaimer: Unless you got smashed in the face with Raven’s stop sign or shocked into amnesia with Scott Hall’s taser then you should know that none of this actually happened. The real WCW was purchased in 2001 by the company that would become WWE.

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Nov 25 2012
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Wrestling Lists

6 Great Matches You’ve Never Seen: Part I

by Jeremy Cundiff

1. Sycho Sid vs. Vader from WWF In Your House 10: Mind Games (1996)

Thank you for your bandwidth. I’m Madman Szalinski, and I’m not here to bore you with the details about me. I’m a wrestling fan too, and particularly an old school one at that. Not that I can’t enjoy a good X division match like the rest of us, but I loved the old days. To start off, today I am introducing a six-part piece on forgotten gems in wrestling history…matches that should have stood the test of time, or at least gotten their own YouTube meme or a mention on Botchamania. Some were on shows nobody ordered, some are on tapes nobody can find and some we just…forgot. But that’s what I’m here for. For the next six weeks, I’m going to take you back to the past…like that one nerd.

Let’s jump right in with a match that’s not exactly 5 star material…but given its participants and the circumstances the end result was, dare I say, well above and beyond expectations.A little bit of backstory for you going into this one. We’re a month removed from SummerSlam, where Vader and his push were soundly defeated by the tandem of Shawn Michaels and douchebaggery. If I, as a 12 year old diehard HBK fan at the time, knew how Shawn had acted backstage legit…I could have turned out a WCW fan instead. But anyways, Vader had just lost a WWF Championship match he was supposed to have won. So, obviously, there was no master plan for him at this time. I wonder how thrilled he was now about leaving WCW and Japan. Meanwhile, Sid was fresh off a midcard victory over The British Bulldog, and he too was in a position where there was no master plan for him. As you may or may not remember, Sid came into the WWF in July 1996 to replace the Ultimate Douche-WARRIOR in a big six man main event, because Warrior no-showed a ton of events that may or may not have had to do with his dying father. So, what do you do with two big power guys that have nothing to do? You stick them into a match together and pray one of them isn’t Ted Arcidi.

On paper, most modern fans would look at this match and go “psh, I don’t see Kevin Steen’s name anywhere on the card.” But for those of us who remember, let’s delve into it. Sid was never a guy you looked to for classic mat wrestling. He’s not considered a good worker, if a worker at all. However, there are two things that Sid brought to the table. One was high impact power offense, and the other was impressive athleticism. While Sid just about never puts any effort into doing anything in the ring, on the rare occasion he does you can see the natural ability. In this match, you get to see both his power and his athleticism. Not only is Sid throwing his (and Vader’s) weight around with a bodyslam or two that actually look pretty decent (considering Sid was about 315 lbs. and Vader 450 lbs.), but you get to see the master of the squirrels whip out many of his common moves such as the crossbody from the top rope…

…wait. Pause the tape.

Sycho Sid hit a top rope crossbody on Vader. What? Next you’re gonna tell me Sid is going to hit him with a sunset flip…

…gee tee eff oh.

Honestly, these screenshots don’t do these moves justice. When Sid hit the crossbody, Vader didn’t just go, “GUFFAW!” and fall down like Jackie Gayda after a can of Four Loko. He caught Sid with one arm and held him for a few good seconds prior to slamming him to the mat. The sunset flip was very impressive as well. And when Sid wasn’t pretending to be Shawn Michaels (who was sitting right there at ringside doing commentary by the way) he was doing just that: slamming Vader like Onyx. Of course, Vader was returning the shots too. While these guys might not be Misawa and Kobashi mixing it up with their punches, this match has a little bit of a quicker pace than most Sid matches. And given that Sid is the runt of the two, I believe that means it’s possible that smaller, faster wrestlers actually slow Sid down, and he works at his quickest pace when facing a larger, slower opponent. (Please don’t prove me wrong by posting a link and saying “SEE? SID AND MABEL FROM 1995!” It’s Mabel and it’s 1995, it shouldn’t even count in the record books).

The point is, Shawn Michaels did his usual entertaining commentary and got to watch Sid pull some pretty acrobatic stuff, while Vader reminded everyone why Shawn didn’t want to take that ass whooping from him. There weren’t many slow points. The match was quick, but not so quick it required both men to stop and take a chinlock breather. The ending was cool, if not expected for a match with a Jim Cornette protege. Sid won after some botched chicanery, and went on to face Shawn in November at Survivor Series 1996, where he took the WWF Championship and the NYC smark crowd was pleased. I believe this match is proof they didn’t know what they were doing, because if the plan was Sid and Shawn all along, they should have used the commentary to push Sid’s agility and possibly that Sid was using Shawn’s style a little bit to piss him off while he sat watching at ringside. Or Vince just didn’t care because everybody was watching WCW at the time anyway. As for Vader, he did a metric shitton of nothing for the remaining two years of his WWF career, at which point there was nothing left to do but hit Japan on cruise control, his American career in shambles thanks to the abrupt derailing of his monster push. So, this is what I consider Vader’s final match in North America worth remembering until In Your House: Final Four next February. Then, that would be the end of his relevancy in this country…and that sucks ass from a straw with ten holes in it.

Either way, it’s a hell of a match that nobody remembers because it’s 1996 and the main event of this pay-per-view was a Shawn/Mankind brawl where Shawn hit Mick with the backdrop suplex off the top through a table on the floor. If you like seeing two big guys beat the crap out of each other while a skinny guy tries his best to make himself relevant throughout the match, then this will be about sixteen minutes of paradise for you. For the rest of us who just like wrestling…this is a good power match with two talented big men, with some pretty good surprises and not a great deal of filler. Oh, and Shawn Michaels on commentary.

Next week, I’m going into the future…one year. 1997, a wonderful year to be a wrestling fan…unless you were Brian Christopher. Why? Because you would be sitting backstage, watching the match I’ll be featuring next week and asking yourself “WHY did I sign up for this light heavyweight shit again? I’m going to be working with one of THESE guys?” Trust me…it’s a classic. I’m Madman Szalinski saying so long, see you next week (if not sooner), and always remember, in the words of Tony Givens…”Work to the left, you poorly trained fucks.”

See the match for yourself by clicking right here and here!

Photo Credits:

Photos 1-2: youtube.com

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