Despite what many may think of Vince Russo there is one undeniable fact about him. The man knew how to take some simple wordplay and spin it into an entire gimmick. Just to name a few there was Beaver Cleavage, Val Venis sounding suspiciously like penis and even top TNA heel Bully Ray being a play on the old Buh Buh Ray Dudley name. Was Vince Russo 100 percent responsible for these gimmicks? It is tough to say for certain, but since he takes so much credit for characters like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and The Rock anyway then lets just say that he is. With TNA and Vince Russo mutually parting ways earlier this year then there is no way fans will get these 6 Potentially Horrible TNA Gimmicks Based on Silly Wordplay.
1. AJ Styles Becomes AJ’s Bile
TNA has never shied away from attacking WWE. With AJ Lee’s annoying run as Raw General Manager over TNA could make the point that AJ had so much poison in her that even finally taking away the GM title could not prevent it from spilling out. As such it finally needed to be discharged and in doing so it became AJ’s Bile. AJ could then wear a slimy luchador costume and have a gimmick where other wrestlers refuse to touch him. At least it would give AJ a reason to go on a winning streak (under all the wrong conditions of course).
2. Bully Ray Becomes Bully Gay
With TNA going against all common sense and turning a terrific heel like Bully Ray face they might as well go all out with it. Bully Ray could make an announcement (preferably on October 11) that the reason he had been angry for so long was because he had repressed his sexual orientation. This could also put more heel heat on Devon as he could say that Devon forced him to hide his true identity. Bully could then have a a feud ready to go with AJ Styles based on some past comments that he made. This could be either before or after AJ portrays the aforementioned bodily fluid.
3. Christian York Becomes Christian Pork
Following TNA Gut Check, Christian York says what finally got him a contract in the big leagues is the fire in his gut. He thanks pork for creating this fire and takes on a gimmick where he worships pig meat. This could then lead to a feud with a Jewish wrestler who could be brought into TNA to promote the importance of a kosher diet. TNA has plenty to pick from: Raven, Bill Goldberg, even the “legendary” Brimstone. My pick would be Colt Cabana. If nothing else it would give Colt a chance to hock more of his merchandise.
4. Al Snow Becomes I’ll Blow
As a member of the TNA staff Al Snow doesn’t have the most shinning track record. Nearly every member of the TNA Gut Check competition that he said yes to has either not gotten a contract with TNA or won a contract and has promptly never been seen on TNA television again. The one exception to this is Joey Ryan. In that case he was denied a contract before causing all kinds of problems for TNA and then earning a contract after defeating…Al Snow. In this prospective storyline Snow could get fired for his lackluster performance and become hard up for money. No longer the in-ring performer he once was he has to earn money the only way he knows how…prostitution. Every week Al will come out and fans will start chanting “we want head!” Only now instead of wrestling, Al will just take a few male members of the audience to the back with him. Tragically, I could actually see this happening even without Russo.
5. James Storm Becomes James Swarm
James Storm being the lovable beer drinker that he is decides to start making a new homemade brew with honey. Rather than buy honey he decides to make it fresh by raising his own bees. The beer making and beekeeping on top of wrestling gets to be too much for him. Add to this his constant drinking and a psychological breakdown is imminent. After a hilarious worked shoot promo he goes full-on crazy heel. From now on he demands to be called James Swarm, lord of the bees. This could even lead to a cameo by Kamala’s old beekeeping manager Kimchee.
6. Kid Kash Become
s Kid Crash Kid Gash Kid Rash
Kid Kash could make the leap from being a forgettable undercard heel to a forgettable undercard face based on this gimmick. Kid Kash could first gain sympathy when the commentators announce in the middle of a show that Kid has been in a car crash. He comes in next week and cuts a promo where he says that he is not going to let his accident prevent him from wrestling and will own the mishap by renaming himself Kid Crash. The following week Kid wrestles his first match back from the incident when the commentators notices a huge cut on his back. Mike Tenay and Taz quickly give him the name Kid Gash. A month or two goes by and Kid is consistently appearing on TNA television. Yet, since he never got a chance to rest from his injury his cut has become infected. He then earns the name Kid Rash…and I’ll stop right there.
Photos 1-2, 4-6: en.wikipedia.org
Photo 3: onlineworldofwrestling.com
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