by Daniel Johnson
When a wrestler uses a song once for their theme it can really help to make an event special. Perhaps, the prime example of this is HHH using “For Whom The Bell Tolls” by Metallica at Wrestlemania XXVII. Likewise, for the exact same match The Undertaker used “Ain’t No Gave” by Johnny Cash, which didn’t work nearly as well (but a lot better than when a Katy Perry song was later dubbed in to replace it). The following is an attempt to identify six songs that would have been at least a fraction as awesome as when a bell slowly rang out and HHH entered for an all around thrilling encounter. At the very least all of them would probably be better entrance themes than a Katy Perry song.
1. The Undertaker: “Again” by Alice in Chains
This theme would be perfect for The Undertaker during his entrance at a Wrestlemania. Esepcially since Alice in Chains are fairly mainstream again (even if arguably their most talented member is dead). Whatever complains there may be about WWE it is tough to argue they don’t do a great job of hyping up the streak each year come Wrestlemania season. With that said the formular is getting a little stale. The matches are usually great, but after Undertaker defeated around a dozen of the biggest challenger to the streak ever it started to get a little old. So why not give the streak a little breathing room and play up an opponent who the commentators believe have no chance in Hell of ending the streak? “Again” would be great to use as everyone would believe he’s “gonna do it again.” Undertaker does not need to fight a joke opponent either for this scenario. In fact, it may even help Undertaker’s opponent out if the challenger was really underplayed then came within a fraction of a second of ending the streak. I’m thinking Randy Orton or Mark Henry would have been great for this especially with how the Henry match was crap anyways and just about anything would have improved it. Plus, those matches both occurred just about as Alice in Chains were coming back.
Listen to “Again” by Alice in Chains right here!
2. Gangrel: “Cry Little Sister” by Gerard McMahon
If you’ve never seen the 1987 move “The Lost Boys” then stop reading this list and go watch it then come back and finish reading this list! Not only will it give me some much needed page views, but you will also hear this awesome song in a movie all about vampires. In fact, the song is so awesome that when the much lower budget sequels came out a few years ago pretty much all they had in common with the original film is that they used this song. Well, that and Corey Feldman. So when should Gangrel have used this as a one-off entrance theme. Well, it would still be fitting even today on the independent scene. Yet, it would have probably worked best an epic entrance on a WWE pay-per-view. So why hasn’t it happened? Well, all you need to do is take a brief look at where Gangrel’s career has gone in the last ten years or so.
Listen to “Cry Little Sister” by Gerard McMahon right here!
3. Christian: “Hell March” from Command & Conquer—Red Alert
Although there is a good deal of variety in Christian’s themes what they almost all have in common is a truly epic sound. Okay, his current theme sucks ass and the Waterproof Blonde version is about four million times better, but that is why I said “almost all.” This theme from the “Command & Conquer” series would never be used in a million years, but for some reason I can’t help, but think that it would fit him. True, Christian has never really had anything close to a military gimmick, but this music doesn’t need to have a real connection to his gimmick especially with it being used only once. A military gimmick for Christian would probably suck, but a campy John Cena-esque miltary entrance where Christian was preceeded by an army of peeps would have been about as epic as any of Kazuchika Okada’s entrances.
Listen to “Hell March” from Command & Conquer—Red Alert right here!
4. John Cena: “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice
A little known fact about John Cena is that the true origin of his killer push dates back to a Halloween party held on WWE Smackdown. Cena, at the time was an incredibly generic face in the vein of 2007 Cody Rhodes. Dressing up as Vanilla Ice and goofing around gave him a chance to show his personality and actually got a response from fans. Yet, WWE could have taken this a step further and actually allowed him to use “Ice, Ice Baby” for his theme that night or really any night when he was still showing signs of being a goofball. So, I guess it would still work even today.
Listen to “Ice, Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice right here!
5. Candice Michelle: “Touch Me Baby” by A-Mathers
I know, I know I featured two entries in a row with the word “baby” in the title. I guess this makes The Johnson Transcript the least metal wrestling website in existence, but such are the consequences. Anyway, remember toward the end of Candice Michelle’s WWE career when her “What Love Is” theme was given a remix that would have sounded more at home at a rave than as a wrestling entrance theme? If WWE was interested in doing some cross promotional work with some techno labels then perhaps they could have gone full throttle with Candice and given her a raver gimmick. Michelle could have used rotating themes, but this would certainly have to be at the top of the list. There would be at least one negative to this theme as when you first hear this song by A-Mathers it sounds incredibly stupid. Kind of like an elf singing over a rejected David Guetta track after consuming a large quantity of uppers and alcohol. However, if you let the song wash over you…well it still sounds pretty much the same, but kind of in a so bad, it’s good way. Also, when that elf really let’s loose on those vocal chords it just sounds like it would match up perfectly with a wrestler first appearing.
Listen to “Touch Me Baby” by A-Mathers right there!
6. “Macho Man” Randy Savage: “Macho Man” by Village People
The Village People’s “Macho Man” existed for the entirety of Randy Savage’s career in mainstream wrestling. One would think given the sheer length of his career and all the ribbers he worked with including Mr. Fuji, Curt Hennig and Owen Hart at least one of them would have paid off the sound guy at some point to switch “Pomp and Circumstance” with this.
Listen to “Macho Man” by Village People right here!
Photos 1-3, 5-6: en.wikipedia.org
Photo 4: onlineworldofwrestling.com
Categories: Wrestling Lists