by Daniel Johnson
*Contrary to online rumors Bill Goldberg no showing his WCW main event match with Chuck Palumbo on this week’s WCW Tuesday Nitro is not a dig at WWE for CM Punk recently leaving the company. Goldberg’s morale has said to be in decline since the company briefly shifted focus away from Goldberg and onto Tokyo Magnum. Despite Goldberg’s previously reported masterful politicking that saw him squash Magnum in the main event of WCW Backstage Assault 2013 to such an extent Magnum needed to be repackaged, the master of the jackhammer has been increasingly difficult to work with.
*Speaking of CM Punk, WCW’s attempts to hire the free agent have been less than fruitful. Sources say that when WCW head of talent relations Kevin Nash called the former WWE Champion directly Punk simply responded, “Because the last time we worked together went so well.” Although Nash has praised Punk for his walkout, the WCW brass is pulling out all the stops to get Punk under contract. Two of Punk’s more well known friends, Colt Cabana and Cliff Compton are rumored to have been offered six figure deals to sweeten the pot.
*Tokyo Magnum’s repackaging as Burn, which debuted this past Tuesday is said to be the brainchild of Tony Schiavone. Schiavone has been lobbying hard to get the WCW higher ups to make him the new head booker following Vince Russo‘s departure from the company. Since WCW’s former poster boy, Sting has left the company to sign with WWE and may even wrestle a match for WCW’s legendary rival, WCW executives are all about damage control. Burn, made up in red face paint will have no kayfabe connection to Tokyo Magnum and Magnum’s past with the company will not be acknowledged. Burn will be promoted as a younger, more capable version of the past his prime Sting. To quote Schiavone, “That’ll put butts in the seat.”
* With the debut of wrestler Bobby Lashley for MMA company Bellator being heavily hyped, WCW is keen to make their own mark on MMA. Sources say Australian fighter Sam Greco, who has worked with WCW in the past was approached about having an extended run in WCW. Negotiations fell apart when WCW would not budge on one condition of signing Greco, which was that Greco would have to compete in an MMA fight in a yet to be determined MMA company. Since Greco is now 47 years-old and has not competed in an MMA bout in nearly a decade it is tough to argue with him. Rumors that WCW will next approach Bob Sapp with a similar offer are unconfirmed.
*Adolfo Tapia aka La Parka aka LA Park aka the wildly successful Pinkie Parker (based on the television show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) will not be returning to WCW. At least not in the immediate future. Bronies everywhere are reportedly dismayed even though Tapia himself is not a brony. Sources say Tapia was made an attractive offer, which would include him heading a comedy stable called the Pinkie World Order (PWO) based on the decades’ old stable the New World Order (NWO). Someone behind the scenes is apparently really into having a comedy stable invade WCW because rumors are flying that plans for a Wrestling Society X (WSX) stable, which as previously reported were nixed in 2012 have recently been revisited. With Fabian Kaelin no longer being an option for WCW to sign and MTV (where WSX previously aired) reportedly having no interest in working with WCW it is unknown how or if any plans will get any further than just small talk at WCW creative meetings.
*Scott Steiner will be at home doing himself an egg until further notice. The retired grappler’s commentary has touched a nerve with censors and his tirade during the Kimberly Page/Spice match, which resulted in a two minute long bleep is said to have been the final straw. Scott Steiner has a litigious history so it is unknown if he will file suit against WCW or if WCW will hand him another duty to squash any beef.
*WCW Bash at the Beach 2014 scheduled for this Sunday is shrouded in mystery. With the only two matches announced being Buff Bagwell taking on Sean O’Haire for the WCW United States Championship and a battle royal being held for the long vacated WCW World Television Championship anything could happen. Since it is very unlikely current WCW World Heavyweight Championship holder, Bill Goldberg will be on the card it is even possible a second battle royal for a vacant championship will be held. Let’s just hope Tank Abbott won’t be penciled in to win either.
Disclaimer: Unless you had a guitar broken over your head by Jeff Jarrett or were traumatically violated by the rhino of The Flock you should know that none of this actually happened. The real WCW was purchased in 2001 by the company that would become WWE.